A conversation that took place at Joe Allen’s restaurant in New York City:

Me: Holy shit with all these actor/waiters. Old ones, too. At what age do you finally just give up already when you haven’t yet made it?
Friend: That one should’ve given up when he looked in the mirror. Is it any wonder he’s still a waiter?

And one from right here at home:

Me: We just solved some technical issues but that doesn’t mean we’re actually progressing.
Friend: Grate.
Me: Grate? CHEESE!
Friend: Hungry?
Me: So many cheesy types ’round here, it’s no wonder!
Friend: Oh my!
Me: The cheesiest of the cheesy sure do ‘grate’ on us, eh?
Friend: Stop it — they’re ‘gouda’ guys!

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