Being me

I’m going to take a break from playing “Space Oddity” because my machine is old and horks every time I want to fire up YouTube.

But rather than talk about how all our heroes are dying off not just in threes, but seemingly in three clusters of threes, I started thinking about how I keep my shit together. (Albeit loosely and not by any organized person’s definition of the term.)

1. Always keep tweezers in the car. That’s the only time you have a mirror at eyebrow level.

2. Keep floss in your purse. I used to use business cards but I don’t have any anymore because this company doesn’t send me to conferences. I like grains and seeds too much not to have a bag of Plackers from the dollar store.

3. Nail polish works at work.
I don’t use it anymore now that I actually have people around me again. But it’s the only time I am chained to a chair and could let the polish dry without goofing it up because I sit on my feet all the time.

4. Ain’t no shame in screw-top wines.
Or cardboardeaux, for that matter. Who the hell are you trying to impress anyway?

5. Don’t worry about sleeping in your makeup. I accidentally washed my face with toothpaste the other day. Which, I don’t recommend. BUT … wow did it tighten my pores right up. It isn’t overly effective in preventing tooth cavities, but I’m pretty sure my nasal cavity sealed right up.

Now I’m going to go listen to some Bowie, Weiland and Lemmy because it would be a sacrilege not to.

Comments closed.