‘Ay yi yi’

I was planning to write a three-part “syndrome” series with our office archetypes. You met Helpful Horvath, the grand master of creating churn. And Snooki, the person who has no patience for you from before the moment you open your mouth, but is so integral to the company that you just have to find ways to please or otherwise avoid him or her.

My third one, well, I haven’t named yet. Because I still don’t actually know that every company has one of these. I pray they don’t. I really do.

First, let me say this. I write all of my blogs “to” Rockville, Md. Whenever I fire up my dashboard, I think of my beloved friend Vitamin D and I guess I appeal to her — for laughs, for nods, for approval.

I’ve been envisioning telling her the story I want to tell all of you. And all I can hear is her saying, “Ay yi yi!” Because there is nothing else to say.

I had occasion to talk to someone I don’t normally cross paths with. I wouldn’t say I’ve wronged anyone in this field (fun-poking blog entries notwithstanding) but there are folks I just avoid because an ex-employer got custody of them in the divorce.

Plus, I had a lot of hurt to overcome. You may see a lot more forgiveness in my recent entries; that’s because the burden just got too heavy to keep dragging through the desert, you know? I’ve grieved; I’ve moved on. I’m a vocationally single girl. Party time!

Anyway, let’s just say my eyes got themselves opened. And I find myself at a sadly familiar crossroads, where I either choose to lose all faith in humanity or simply kick myself for being so trusting YET AGAIN.

Seriously, you’d think I’d learn.

So of course it occurs to me to blog about it, to help me make sense of it. Which is pretty hard nowadays because everybody knows everybody in my world. So that’s out.

The thing is, there are lies and misdeeds, and then there’s just plain “asking for it.” And in my field, you have to have a caste system for bad behavior, because it’s so rampant.

However, I can pretty much forgive professional backstabbing. (See how jaded I really am?) But it’s when people start making it personal that really puts a bug square up my butt.

Now, I say this as the same asshole who nicknames people who make me mad. But I imagine any therapist in the world would tell you this beats actually doing something regrettable.

I say all of this because I take my relationships very seriously. Where I’ve failed romantically, I’ve succeeded professionally. I have many long-term relationships that I cherish. Even if we only go on a “date” occasionally, I expect honesty and loyalty and that I’m still talking to the same person every time we connect.

Garrr, I feel like I’m digging myself deeper into this abyss. So, I’m going to forget naming this archetype, in favor of this:

1. I have enough to answer for when I get to heaven. I’d like to see my friends when I get there. If you’re not going to be there with me, I really don’t need to associate with you here.

2. I’m disappointed. Irrevocably so.

3. You don’t deserve what you have, but you will deserve what you get.

I’m not going to lose what makes me “me” because of “you.” But you have lost “me” and if that doesn’t speak volumes about “you,” I don’t know what would.

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