And the world spins madly on
I finally have a little stability in my life, yet the one thing I am yearning for more than anything is a change.
A good change, let me qualify — life seems to grant my requests willy-nilly if I don’t get specific about it. 😉
There’s something standing in the way of me moving on. That thing is me.
I think I’ve been clinging to something that is hurting me more and more to (almost) have. I was thinking a lot about my last post, how I let go when I’m hurt. I may have to do that again. No matter how much joy it can bring, if the accompanying heartache isn’t going to be worth the trouble someday, I might as well save myself even more damage to undo. It’s going to take a miracle to change my mind this time.
On to WAY more interesting subjects, I had a terrific night out last night, so no complaints here. Traipsed over to Adams Morgan to watch our budding comedienne perform her heart out at Topaz. Laughed my ass off. I think that’s going to be my new fitness routine — laugh off ass, fit into jeans. Wish I’d thought of that workout regimen sooner! 😉
Here’s her set from April 10, just so you know who she is when she becomes famous:
At last night’s show, there was a guy looking at me from across the room in the audience for the last part of the show. I’m no dummy — I was looking back. I saw him upstairs in the bar a couple of times, but he never approached and I was too busy clock-watching to really relax enough to enjoy the post-show chatter. The guy at the Colonial Parking garage on Rhode Island Avenue made it clear that the doors were closing at 11 p.m. so I needed to have my car out by then.
I hate Colonial Parking because they don’t let people actually enjoy a night out. Fuck, it took almost two hours in traffic to get to the hotel (we’re talking a 15-mile drive) — let me unwind and have a drink and see my friends, fer crissakes, will ya? That, and their garages seem particularly heinous — all on angles and tons of poles. A guy smashed his front end trying to get around me, and I wasn’t exactly taking my half out of the middle.
When I left, thank GAWD I was the last car in there — it took a fucking 14-point turn to unwedge the car from her spot. How the hell did I even get it IN there, is the question. And we PAY for these headaches? Sheesh!
Speaking of unbridled joy and rapture, Mercury moved into retrograde today. I try not to make big decisions and commitments during these tumultuous times, although I have two looming and I admit I’m worried about the outcome of both.
In any event, I have no energy today. My horoscope indicated that I can’t do anything about today’s mood — it’ll pass when it’s done with me. I ain’t fighting it today like I usually do, so maybe if I just let it run its course, instead of staving it off through denial, I’ll be emotionally healthier in the end.