6-19
619 was my grandfather’s favorite lottery number to play.
I don’t know why.
Orphan child here doesn’t have anyone to ask anymore.
I had a good day.
Had to talk to my boss yesterday. Had to confess how overloaded I am. To the point I haven’t worked on his beloved project.
I got the reply I wanted. Which was, “It’s probably coming time to talk about getting you some help.”
YOU THINK?!
I just haven’t wanted to work on the project. I’m braindead by the time I even have a half a second to work on it.
But it turned out to be a blessing. The project that MATTERS is in the pile with everything else.
Oh, how the tides have turned.
Anyway, I was going to work on this Juneteenth, but I decided to go shopping since I’m Disney-bounding with Kelly for the next few days.
Somehow I spent $500 and only got three frozen meals, a sushi roll, a matcha bubble waffle … and everything else was for the cats and apartment.
What’s funny is I still have Mom’s urn in my Tokyo Disney purse.
I swear on everything I know that she was with me all day.
I could hear her all through Walmart.
I laughed a lot. She “talked” me into a tank top. I could swear I heard her say “it might ring up cheaper than it’s marked” … and it did!
I don’t remember all the inside jokes, but they hadn’t occurred to me in a while.
We always said the word Beefalo instead of fatass. We said Bonga Butt when clothing made our asses look huge. There were a bunch more moments at Walmart and throughout the day at Target and Burlington where I swear she was in the dressing room with me.
I saw butterflies. I saw birdies. I saw “Mr. LizARD who lived in the YARD.”
It was just such a good day.
There was one moment where I hoisted $50 of cat litter into my cart.
I could hear her so clearly, saying, “My baby has to do everything by herself.”
After I struggled, I heard, “Struggle, struggle!” which we learned from the “Anywhere But Here” movie.
And when I got two ginormous packages of Clean Paws into my cart, I could hear her say, “My baby did it. She always does it. I wish she had help but she’s got this.”
Your baby has always had this, Momma. I just wish she were younger and in better shape because this shit is HARDER now.
I remember the lady behind me at a checkout was dressed in scrubs and buying Poise pads and a few other things. No doubt for a client.
And I thought please don’t let me get to the point where I can’t be a “Walmart Ho” like Mom used to call us.
Not long after, I parked at home and I saw an ancient lady drive in. I thought, “She is too old to drive” and I loaded up my shopping cart.
Well, I was correct. She drove that nice new car into a concrete wall in our carport.
She jumped out and asked me if I can get a man to help her.
I LOL’d.
Summer (and snowbirds gone) notwithstanding, honey, if I could just find a man, I’d keep him for myself, thanks.
She just wanted someone to back her car out of the wall and get it straight in her spot.
I did it. Took her gigantic cushion out of the seat. Had my knees in the ignition and didn’t fuck with her mirrors. But I got her car where she wanted it to be.
Didn’t need a man.
I decided it was pool-thirty. And the cutest little lizARD sat with me for a good 20 minutes. Thought it might be Cocoa, as she loved the outdoors.
Anyway, I was feeling really rotten all day but honestly it ended up being a really great day with all my little signs and creature sightings.
And not to forget Grampy …
I saw Coleman Grill fuel and remembered the amazing, amazing gift my family gave me.
A cobalt blue Coleman Grill, portable, to match my cobalt blue car.
I got so much use out of it. It went all over Virginia and Maryland with me. Loved that thing.
Wish I could have one now, but I’d get tossed out of here.
I miss grilled foods. I mean, I lease in a concrete building and I’m still not allowed to have a grill.
Anyway not me crying in Target that I had such a good family that loved me so much to buy me really amazing things with what little money they had.
Thank you, Grampy. Thank you, Mom. Thank you, Cocoa. Pretty sure I had a Janna moment or two — penguins kept showing up everywhere today too in things I was looking at. Wild.
I am protected. I am loved. I had amazing people who shaped the human I became.
Maybe everyone else in the world would suck less if they’d had my family and friends.