My mother reminds me every year that it’s biodad’s birthday.

No reason, really. No one wants to commemorate the occasion of us meeting the first in a string of losers in our lives. It’s more like oh yeah is he still alive.

I got a “you are a very good researcher” from Mom this week as I confirmed he is indeed alive, had moved to Ohio for a while and is renting a sad little house in a premier neighborhood.

Seriously, his landlord must be more lax than mine. You’d think MY landlady would think I’d want a working oven, microwave and dishwasher for the holidays. Heck, I’d be happy if more than half the electrical outlets worked so I could use the ones that I bought to replace them.

In any event, his stupid new wife who only posts photos of herself from the 1970s has two terrible children … who live with them.

The boy doesn’t look like he amounted to a hill of beans. Or will.

The girl just had her fourth (!) baby by as many fathers. And oh is she nasty in all her posts and other communications.

Mom had accidentally sent this twat a friend request while she was trolling. (Ergo why I get to be the troll.) And this chick RIPPED her to shreds, like who the fuck are you and why do you feel the need to be friends with me.

Her profile says she’s in pre-law at Liberty University. I literally JUST defriended a classmate who sent all three of her kids to Liberty. I don’t need that kind of stupidity in my life.

Isn’t it wonderful that the man who rejected me TWICE because he didn’t want a kid has spent his life with kids and now THEIR kids?

I try to be humble about the good things that have happened in my life. But I am going to try to forgive myself for saying you dumbass, you coulda had your whole retirement paid for. But you opted to share a 3/1 with seven people, none of which are blood-related. Or employed.

It galls me that he shares a name with my favorite boss. But it’s wonderfully ironic though — my boss is more of a dad to me than that sack of sad could ever have been.

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