‘Ruin the Friendship’
Called my freelancer at the crack o’ me this morning. As one does.
He had sent the file I needed on Friday. But it never arrived.
So he resent it this morning. And of course we got to talking about everything but.
He’s 57 and single. I’m 51 and single. And we had some fun moments comparing stories over coffee today.
A comedian recently did a bit that said it’s not that being single is hard. It’s dating.
Both of us are filled with wanderlust. Owned by pets. Financial analysts. Writers. Traders. People with insatiable appetites for wine, good food and other pleasures.
We got to talking about how he’s saved so much money from not dating, he’s doing a trip to Europe.
I got to saying my travel buddy can’t make it to my upcoming trip to (X) and (Y).
So I said fuck it, added a day at the beginning and end, and I’m shoving two days at Z in the middle. Because I can.
Like sure, we both agreed it would be nice to have someone along. Someone to make decisions with. But, not necessary at this point.
The thing with both of us is that we want to leave our current places. But neither of us knows where to go. And we almost need someone to give us direction.
He’s going through the ailing parent thing. Which I am not about to touch with a 10-foot pole, for any man.
As T&T said to me recently (no not Taylor and Travis, but close), they respect me knowing that boundary and not negotiating it.
Taking care of my Momma and doing All the Stuff was hard but worth it. Because it was my Momma.
But I do not want to care for some guy’s parents that way. Even if the care is simply just Caring and not doing all the Stuff. Dealbreaker.
He was telling me about dating among his big friend group there. Which he may or may not leave behind once the parental stage has come to its natural end.
And I told him about some ghosts who follow me around.
Not in the good Momma ghost way.
But the way in which, if you aren’t careful who you give your energy to, they could become a poltergeist.
He’s like yeah, single life all the way.
In any event, Taylor Swift’s new album comes out Friday and I have a ticket to (theater name) to listen to it with all my new Swiftie besties.
One of the songs is “Ruin the Friendship.”
Some Swifties speculate that it’s about Blake Lively because unfortunately there’s a subset of our fandom that votes red and therefore has no fucking clue about women supporting women. (That’s the mother of Taylor’s four god-children, you nuts.)
In any event, I don’t know what it’s about. But I’m of the attitude that friendships are worth “ruining” for the relationship. It’s either going to deepen it or end it.
And for me, I’d rather know sooner.