‘I do …’ (love to blog about anything)

Reader Poll Monday: Wedding Edition:

1. Where and when was the last wedding you attended?
June 11, 2006 — Tiff and Tom’s special day

2. What’s the furthest you’ve ever traveled for a wedding?
Probably 20 miles. I’ve never seen fit to buy gifts and also pay for transportation/hotel at some remote location. Send a check and have a free day, I say.

3. What’s your general opinion of weddings?
I used to be opposed to marriage in general, having never seen one work out in real life. But then I realized how many people don’t have that right, so I’ve come to regard it much more highly.

That said, most of the weddings I’ve been to have been pretty much low-fuss, low-key events, and I like that. The rare events in which the folks getting married are actually the ones in the driver’s seat for the event have been the best ones. It’s when parents and cousins and others start getting involved that things go haywire.

And matching bridesmaid dresses? Just cruel. We’re all shaped differently and we all look best in different colors. My one friend is a perennial bridesmaid and has about four dozen hideous dresses in her closet. But for one wedding, the bride’s mom custom-made sundresses for all the girls, and they were all encouraged to find simple, elegant black sandals. Read: an outfit and shoes you can wear again and again. And cheap! No paying $300 for some taffeta poufy mess you’ll hate for the rest of your life.

I was a bridesmaid in a commitment ceremony a couple of years ago. I got to pick my dress and shoes and everyone was happy I showed up and had a good time. I love that dress — I have no reason to wear it (or the stiletto sandals that matched) again, but I got both on sale and felt like a princess that day. It was like the grooms were the hosts and everyone else was an honored guest. That was a very happy day in my memory.

Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of the happy couple, but instead they can turn (in other instances than I’ve mentioned) into days that siphon too much money and effort from guests. Between shower gifts, bachelor/bachelorette parties, wedding gifts and new clothes, whether you’re in the wedding or not, it’s a wonder everyone doesn’t just send a check and wish them well without ever having to leave the house.

4. What’s your favorite wedding tradition?
Enjoying the open bar.

5. Least favorite?
Money dances. Gah. It goes back to “let’s milk the guests for each individual dollar they might still have on them.” We did lots of these in Pittsburgh, although I have yet to deal with one in D.C. You “get” the pleasure of dancing with the bride or the groom (your choice) but for a tip. It’s goofy, it’s tacky and it’s a ripoff. 😉

6. What do you usually give as a gift?
Cash. It’s not that I don’t have gift ideas in mind, because I used to always give Wedding Capsules (full of scrapbooking shit so they can record their milestones) and wineglasses and a halfway decent bottle of wine, but at this age, everyone has stemware and everything else household-related. Besides, cards are so much less cumbersome.

7. What’s the best thing you ever eaten at a wedding?
Any reception not held in a fire hall usually means decent food. I’ve had enough fried chicken and ravioli and homemade cookies at weddings to choke a horse. Tiff and Tom’s wedding featured the cuisine of the beloved Boulevard Woodgrill and cupcakes (in lieu of wedding cake) from Cake Love, and that’s the best combination I can think of!

8. What’s the most bizarre thing you’ve seen at a wedding?
Line dancing. Chicken dancing. Cake-smashing. I hate it when couples pummel each other with cake. It’s tacky. I also hate it when people show up underdressed (it’s not hard to find something other than jeans), and I hate it even worse when all the drunken uncles get drunk(er) and act simple.

9. Have you ever dated someone you met at a wedding?
I’ve met people at weddings but no one I ever ended up in a relationship with.

10. Would you rather have a big wedding or just elope?
I’ve always been an elopement fan, but it would really depend on the person I’d be with. I have a very small family and an equally tiny, but rock-solid, group of friends. I don’t need a lavish affair. But if having family and friends present is important to Mr. Someday, then I’d reconsider, but I’d insist on keeping frills and drama to an absolute minimum.

One Lonely Response to ‘I do …’ (love to blog about anything)

  1. Old Freind :

    I refuse to have a MONEY DANCE!!!!!! A money shot maybe…..LOL, spice up those wedding pictures!!!! There shall be NONE of the floowing at my wedding…….

    NO LINE DANCING For obvious reasons, Polish and Irish people should not Line dance, it could cause too many injuries!

    NO FRICKING CHICKEN DANCE!!!!!!!! Gods I hate that fucking song!!!!!

    NO CAKE SMASHING! Where the hell did this redneck tradition come from?

    NO DRUNKEN VIDEOS! This is a redneck trailerpark ritual as well, If you want to wish us well put some cash in the card you CHEAP motherfuckers, after all I donated to YOU’R WEDDINGS…AAAAAAAHHHHRRRGGGGHHH!!!!!

    Whoops sorry got carried away there…… Whew I need a beer.