Knife to the kidney
I keep blowing through my data plan.
Was trying to get around D.C. on foot when AT&T said sorry, babe. Slowing your data. Have a nice life.
It wasn’t so bad because I was home. But still, annoying since I hadn’t been home in FIFTEEN YEARS.
I looked up some data plans from the safety and comfort of a Wi-Fi signal.
Honestly my plan — with two lines and no overage charges — is the best one.
But.
I could pay less per month if I dropped down to one line. And get better coverage, albeit piecemeal, like the old days of cell phone coverage.
As Kody Brown phrased it, that felt LIKE A KNIFE TO THE KIDNEY.
I have always intended to keep Mom’s phone number and line open.
My cousin canceled her mom’s service when she passed. (Us eldest daughters always pay for our moms’ cell phones and their service.)
And then she got a message from that line and it freaked her right the hell out.
Anyway that was the first time I thought about changing something big because she isn’t here to use it anymore.
Seeing memories pop up on the socials is weird too. OneDrive always sends me an OTD email, for example.
It’s fucked up as all hell to realize she’s been gone for two of these (insert dates).
Like, two birthdays. Gone.
I always knew the second year would be harder. The one that cemented the first wasn’t a blip.
I’ve started putting things on her bed. Most of it is stuff she cherished or wore. But now I have a couple overnight bags of my own there too. To keep Belly out of them.
And I thought, man I had bought her an excellent egg crate. A cooling one. She loved it. Got so mad at what I spent on it, but it cradled her.
I got to thinking, man everything hurts in my body after these Disney trips.
She would love it if I took advantage of it.
I guess it’s time to start using “her” stuff now that it’s mine.
But as for the phone, I don’t know. She wouldn’t want me LOST without data. But … if there’s a shot in a million that she’d call me from that phone, I don’t want to miss it.