I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Friday, November 19, 2004

Flying trapeze

Holy shit, I had to take a break from snarfing up my breakfast to bring you breaking news. I swear, chunks of Cat Chow (cheap, dry-ass shit -- thanks Mommy for being poor and feeding me that crap!) nearly flew outta my delicate little nose from laughing at Kadi.

Ah, Kadi.

Kadi was crouched in the kitchen doorway, her butt up in the air. She was poised to jump at me and attack me. She's been evil lately, more so than usual. I think she really wants a tomcat. (I don't know why, as they only want one thing, and then you have to take them on "Maury Povich" to prove they sired your litter, and half of those skanky pussies don't even know which tomcat planted the fertile seed of their brood. But whatever.)

In any event, Kadi was poised to pounce. But then something funny happened.

Mommy did not see Kadi when she opened up the refrigerator door to get her coffee beans. So, when she opened the fridge door -- *BAM* -- it whacked Kadi's butt and sent her flying!

Oh. My. GOD -- I was thrilled! The door hit her square on her ass, and Kadi did a flying arc through the dining room. And for that, I say:

Bag of Cat Chow: $8
Porcelain Garfield Food Dish: $10
Kadi Going Ass Over Teacups: PRICELESS!!!


At 6:57 PM, Blogger Barb said...

i found your blog through Funkalicious. (i really ought to e-mail her and tell her i've linked to the cat blogs on her list.) anyhow, i've added you to cat-o-bloggo (http://bloggochicago.blogs.com/catobloggo), my own cat blog. your link is in the sidebar under "Litters." stop by any time!

At 8:23 AM, Blogger Ollie said...

BAHAH! My five girls just laughed Science Diet out their nostrils at this one.

At 11:37 PM, Blogger Funkalicious said...

Now, Maddie, you really must stop being such a nasty little bitch or no turkey for you tomorrow. Maybe Kadi isn't the brightest bulb in the bunch, but you seem to have issues with missing the litterbox and wiping your ass on the rug, which is unladylike and disgusting and, when you think about it, a hell of a lot less graceful than Kadi flying through the dining room. So chill out or I might have to fly to DC just to discipline your fat ass. ;-)

At 10:15 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Here kitty,kitty....want to play in my dryer. :)

I love your blog and can relate. (Have owned cats in the past, upgraded to a poodle...crazy, huh?) Just wanted to let you know that I have added you to my links, so I can keep up with the fur ball hurling. Come and visit me at http://creativechick.blog-city.com
happy turkey day,


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