Table manners

I was happily eating my chow this evening when the air in the apartment became heavy with the scent of cat shit.

Bah. My sister Kadi had absolutely no respect that I was having a fine dining experience -- she went and rocked the litterbox so hard that I'm surprised a vein didn't pop in her head from trying to pop out that stank-ass load! Then again, if Kadi suffered any kind of disconnect in her brain, I doubt anyone would notice a difference -- stupid cat.

Mommy lit about seven candles and whipped out the vanilla and cinnamon Glade sprays. She also opened the balcony doors so we could, like, breathe again. Man, that was some funky kitten ass aroma in our little place tonight! God, I wish the litterbox were near a window!!!

But, alas, Mommy reminded me that I have no room to be indignant over having my dinner disturbed because she watched me eat at Grandma's house, and she said I was evil toward Kadi (although, let's face it, Mommy loves me more and never disciplined me for it!).

What happened was that Grandma had those dishes that are partitioned -- half for food, half for water (at home we have a kitty fountain for water, although Mommy was a dumb ass and left it running while we were gone on vacation and the fucking motor burned out -- asshole!).

Anyway, the gray bowl was for me and the pink bowl was for Kadi. So what I would do is wash my front paws in Kadi's water and then go chow down in my dish. Every time I ate, that was my ritual. Kadi never knew the difference. And she deserved it 'cause she would go eat MY food! Dumb bitch, didn't she see me eating out of the gray bowl morning, noon and night? I know how much she likes to eat from whichever bowl I touch, so I thought I was being a clever pussy (as well as a hygienic one) by touching her bowl so that she would think it was mine and then eat out of it!

Oh well. Dumb kitties never learn. But Mommy needs to quit harassing me that it's nice and all to have clean paws, but that I need to do a better job of scrubbing my butt 'cause she's sick of the skid marks I so lovingly leave for her on the rug. Bitch.