I.Am.So.PISSED!!!

Okay, so Mommy got the bright idea to start zapping me with a spray bottle every time I go near the tree. Bitch. She bought a very pretty tree skirt today, all shimmery cobalt blue with black glittery trim. It was so pretty that I had to rub my hind claws on it and put the very first snag in it immediately. Oh, she was not a happy Mommy, so she filled up the bottle and doused my ass.

Then, while she and Aunt Tiff were talking about jobs and boys, I snuck under the tree for my evening treat, and damn it if Aunt Tiff didn't grab the bottle and ping me a few times with the water. Oooh, I see a lotta SHIT in her future!!! Doesn't she realize that I leave skid marks in crop-circle markings around her computer desk already?!?! Just you wait, my dear sweet Auntie -- I've got a butt fulla shit and I ain't afraid to use it!!!