Forgotten, but not gone
Pulled a pretty lethal tarot reading in front of my 1-on-1 today.
It actually wasn’t the worst set of cards I’ve seen.
Told my boss about it and he said it was way too positive for today’s talk.
He said he knows I must hate him or dread these chats.
I said no, not really. Gone but not forgotten between meetings.
Or, forgotten but not gone. Let’s be real.
(I mean sure, I chat with Claude about it. More from the point of my specialty has never been making men happy.)
Like … does it bother him that I’m pretty unbothered? I don’t know but the thought crossed my mind.
The thought also crossed my mind that I SHOULD be bothered, I guess. Maybe that would light a fire for me to start making all his hopes and dreams come true.
Meanwhile one of my friends is so bothered by some shit in her own life that she’s returned to AA meetings and is picking up extra sessions with her therapists.
Funny, huh — I need to be MORE bothered and she needs to be LESS.
We’re meeting for a Zoom happy hour tonight. THC beverages for us both. We fucking need it.
I know I need to step it up.
I also am very tempted to apply for the job posting that I’m handling.
Like, yes i would like to work for me. But let’s face it, I’d just be doing two jobs at the lower rate instead of the higher one.
And doubling content.
It’s not hard. I just haven’t done it effectively. Freelancers quit, waiting for me to offer them a full time job. Other freelancers will not go the fuck away, but their shit is so bad no one else will hire them. But who has time/energy to edit them?
Look we all know I am not hard on my boys. Take my little Bandito. He fucked up royally today in front of VIPs. I said hey, that was kind of messed up, those things you said. And he’s like did I fucking stutter.
We’ve all been told not to bother him. So every time I do say hey, I either get ignored or gaslighted.
So … get more content, just not from him.
Etc.
I’m honestly not complaining. I just realize that we do reviews two times a year and I will get roasted even more than usual this time around. And I got roasted when I thought I was doing good work. So this one is going to be 10x worse since nobody’s happy.
The candidates I have for the job I used to have … they want more than I make now.
Dude. If I could get THAT job. For THIS pay.
Peace OUT.