I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Crappy New Year

Mommy has been out of town a lot these past few months and the ho turns off the computer when she goes, so there went all my prime blogging time. So, let me just wish you a happy new year, and in my house, it's a crappy new year, because the bitch is never home to scoop the fucking litterboxes!

My grandpa died on Thanksgiving, and Mommy's been spending a lot of time with Grandma, who's coming to live with us. We're going to be moving soon, just within D.C. and not back up to Pittsburgh. I hate moving and I hate it that Grandma sneezes every time she looks at me, but Grandma likes to cook and clean and I'm thinking that maybe my litterbox won't be so foul anymore. Grandma is also threatening to put Kadie and me in diapers, and she says she's cutting out holes for our tails so she doesn't have to see our patented Shit Landmines all over the floor when Mommy pulls her usual 12-hour shifts at her job.

It's been a sad few months here, but I think it'll be good for Mommy to have Grandma with us, and Grandma needs us right now, so I promised Mommy that I will try to be very good for her and make her feel welcome. And we're trying to ask Kadie not to jump on Grandma's head while she sleeps like she does with Mommy. Personally, I'm hoping we can get an extra bedroom for Kadie and me, but as always, Mommy says I have to get a job because she can't support all four of us.

She almost didn't have a job -- she has a stalker who tried to get her fired, and I hope he burns in hell because she's the only one with an income and we'd all be out on the streets if her job wasn't so nice and good to her. In fact, they gave her a promotion after Stupidhead did his thing because they realized how smart she is and how much of an asset she is to the company. Thank God for the good guys winning for a change!

It's weird for Mommy, because she thought that by now, she'd be married and have non-furchildren, but instead she's got two furballs and a parent to care for now. She doesn't need to worry -- we'll all be very good and not eat too much. ;)

I'm also very sad that I didn't get to see my Grampy one more time, because he loved us very much and always asked Mommy how we were doing and told her to give us kisses from him. When he died, Mommy told us to be very good and to sit very still when he came by to pet us one last time, because he wasn't going to leave without telling us he loved us.

So, life's a little bit different over here at the litterbox. Thank you for coming back to see how I am --- I'm a sad little puss right now, but I'm happy that our little family (what's left of it) will be together again. I'll even share my litterbox with Grandma so Mommy can get ready in the mornings in peace!


At 10:38 AM, Blogger Tiff said...

I am so sorry to hear that things haven't been great in your neck of the woods. I hope you have a smooth move.

At 3:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So sorry, Hope it all gets better. I have done the elderly parent caregiver routine. It can be rewarding but tiring (both emotionally and physically). Make sure that you take time for yourself (and your pussys....)

At 11:08 AM, Blogger DrabCats said...

Many, many condolences to all of you, from all of us.

The Drab Cats & The Drab Mommy

At 9:01 PM, Blogger Zippy, Sadie and Speedy said...

Sorry to hear about Grampa. Glad he stopped by one more time to tell you he loves you. Hope 2007 is a much better year.

At 7:48 AM, Blogger curator said...

May 2007 get much, much better than your 2006. Take care of Mommy, and think about crapping in the box.

At 11:37 AM, Blogger Minou said...

Ohhhh It's been awhile since you posted - I hope things are getting a little better now. You must be getting ready to move again....
Hope everything works out.....


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