I Crap In a Box

I'm Maddie, a fabulous foul-mouthed Calico from Washington, D.C. I sleep, whine and poop a lot. Swearing like a sailor and vomiting like a supermodel round out my typical day. Tormenting my sister also warms my heart!

Saturday, February 26, 2005

No shit

I mean it -- I'm constipated. And alas, so is my creativity.

I'm just pissed off 'cause somebody was smart enough to start marketing Poop Paintings. Every time I do poop paintings (my latest project is trying to wipe an M for Maddie on the carpet), Mommy sprays Woolite Pet Stain crap on my original work and scrubs it away. Bah! And she's always telling me to go get a job -- look what I could have done!

Oh, the agony.

But never fear -- my beloved minions are looking out for me and wish to share some light litterbox reading for you:

From the amazing Barb, of Bloggo Chicago fame as well as the spectacular Cat-O-Bloggo, she points us toward the antithesis of MY fabulous page: I Don't Crap In a Box. Thanks Barb!!!

And we have a new reader, Bubec, whose mommy Agatha shared a story for us:

"Just thought you might be amused to see Bubec, the North Carolina cat with too much instinct in knowing where the kitty treats are. I came home one afternoon to find him seated next to the food bowl waiting for cat treats. Unfortunately, my boyfriend had left to work with those same treats on the counter. Bubec had happily torn the bag apart and ate them all. For a week we teased him with the empty bag as a reprimand. The first day we did it, irony befell us. As I was taking pictures of him attacking the bag, one last treat dropped out.


Tee hee. Go Bubec! I always love to hear stories of we four-pawed wonders triumphing over our captors. And that's one good-lookin' tomcat, if I say so myself. ;) Thanks Agatha!


At 9:30 PM, Blogger Ollie said...

Careful about that constipation thing, there Mads. I had a kitty with it once and the doctor had to get involved. And let's just say the word "enema" was tossed around.

Try some of this stuff
and you'll be poopainting again in no time.

At 7:58 PM, Blogger Ollie said...

After I've gone back and thought about it again, after your kitty poopuddles, maybe laxative is not such a great idea. Good luck with your bowels, Maddie.

At 11:22 PM, Blogger Agatha said...

I didn't expect to see you post our beloved kitty Bubec in your journal, but I'm deeply flattered by it. I visit occassionally to see what mischief Maddie has been up to and since our darling tomcat has returned home after being missing three weeks, I felt like I had to share his devious antics with you.

Thank you!

Bubec sends his regards.

At 2:19 AM, Blogger Barb said...

dear Miss Maddie,

thank you for mentioning the bloggos on your site. i have reinstated posting entries to our "Kitty Friends" on Tuesdays and i'll post your blog next. we here at the bloggo-partment are big fans of yours.

definitely watch that constipation. Basil had to go to the emergency vet once and they had to use a tong-like instrument to relieve him. he was not happy.


At 10:44 PM, Anonymous Persian Priscilla said...

I have a peice of shit thats hanging off of my ass like a dingleberry. My mommy picked it off and told me to do a better job of keeping my pooper clean next time. Easier said than done, be-aytch! Leave me a box of handy wipes by my crap pan and I'll try a little harder.

At 5:44 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

No new post in nearly a month?! Should I be worried about you, Maddie?

At 12:23 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My antique pussy and I miss your postings very much.

Winnipeg Puss

At 8:52 PM, Blogger Minou said...

your BAD! The worse I have ever done is poop on my mommy's pillow when she forgot to give me a treat before she went to work.
I do like to eat horse poop and lick my asss then go give Daddy kisses - that is kinda sneaky - they will never catch on to that one....
I like your blog - I will have to put a link to it on mine so I can read it often....

At 7:45 AM, Blogger Ollie said...

It's been a while. My five girls and I hope you're faring well Maddie.


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