Resolution: FAIL — achieved!

I haven’t talked to God in a really long time. I’ve tried — my “God time” was always during my 45-minute commute, which is quickly becoming my favorite part of my job. But after a few weeks of silence, now I have a difficult time speaking to Him without yelling right now. In my mind AND aloud.

I just noticed that I haven’t written in my (daily) gratitude journal since Dec. 29. Coincidence?

Today, I was thinking about how I cling to the hope that God really CAN change things overnight. Mom’s health, for example. Everything else that’s not quite right. But after some ch-ch-changes at work, I was wondering whether He could CHANGE THEM BACK. And quickly.

Of course, the way I figure, if He got me into this, He can get me out of it. Better off than I was before, too.

Who knew that my New Year’s resolution to “fail absolutely everybody” would come true so quickly? Do I win a prize?

It’s going to get harder before it gets better. Much harder. Everyone says what is being asked of me is impossible for any one human to handle. It’s not even that I want to prove anyone right (for believing in me) or wrong (because let’s face it, the odds are in their favor). It’s that I want to feel good and healthy and happy for a change and even if this isn’t the direct path, I have to believe it will get me there somehow.

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