‘It’s all coming back to me now’

Befriended one of my boys from years (decades?) past on one of those social-networky thingies. I could link to all the entries from the past (yes, the blog is that old). But then that would mean I’d want to reread them. And we all know Goddess needs to keep her wits about her, especially on the first day of Retrograde.

Oh fuck it. Here’s a 2007 recap.

I had a similarly disparaging name for his then-girlfriend/now-wife along the lines of Whorothy. And the second I saw his photos, that long-forgotten name flew straight out of my mouth. (God, I am such a bitch.)

He’s still hot. Not surprisingly. Because if I have exquisite taste in anything, it’s men. His son looks just like him. His daughter looks like, well, Whorothy’s predecessor. 😉

Funny how it all fades into the background, and funny how one day you find yourself awake half the night having flashes that hadn’t occurred to you since the ’90s.

I blew my chance with him because I couldn’t just lose myself in the moment. I didn’t trust that he was in it for the longer haul and even though I am a short-term gal at heart, I was falling for this guy and really convinced that it was doomed because of A) religion and B) the fact that I wasn’t born into money or successful yet on my own.

Was I wrong? Maybe. But I don’t think so. I think the replacement offered the age and security and background that I just couldn’t.

I like to think I was someone new and young and different and exciting. Just like he was intellectual and mysterious and kind and powerful.

Anyway, not to stab at a wound that healed around the time of Y2K. But, still. I just had to take a moment to wonder whether I would have been content never leaving Pittsburgh and living the family life or whether I would have gnawed at the restraints by now and ended up where I am anyway.

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