If only the navel upon which I gaze could answer me

I read in Michael Losier’s book “Law of Attraction” something about how if you have an empty wallet, you’re generating negative vibrations that continue to keep you and money separated. Whereas, however, if you always keep money in your wallet, you will feel good when you look into it — you will feel that, yes, I can afford things that I want. And therefore, mystically, because you do not feel that cash is a problem in your life, more cash will be attracted to you.

That’s a nice fucking thought when I only have a dollar left till payday. 🙂

Well, maybe there is something to what he said after all. I won’t complain about my pay level but what I will grouse about is that my net pay doesn’t go far enough. The only reason why I take pause at voting for Hillary Clinton (which I will. I already have the bumpersticker) is that I just KNOW my taxes are going up. And the government already eats a third of what I make — I am aware that electing a Democrat to office surely means giving up even more of my hard-earned dollars. Oh well. It’s a small price to pay for running the country right for the next four or hopefully even eight years.

But to Losier’s point, I do have some emergency money in my pretty, shiny new wallet. Nothing much — a half-tank of gas is about all it will get me — but I wanted to experiment with this “feeling like I always have money” concept, as it is a foreign one and all. And I don’t know whether it’s the Law of Attraction or the universe having one fucked-up sense of humor, but freelance opportunities are falling out of the sky.

And for as expensive as my life has become (*sigh* — and not in a luxurious way), boy those extra dollars to pay the phone bill would sure be nice. But I don’t think I can take them. Not timewise — fuck, I lose enough sleep as it were; might as well be productive, eh? But I worry that in my quest to get ahead, I could cause myself to get even-more behind. I can’t explain it (here, anyway) but the phrase “opportunity cost” says it nicely.

It’s just like when I attempt to get ahead of tasks. I had joked with someone that procrastination is rewarded, and as always, there is a huge nugget of truth behind the humor, because nothing could be more true. So when it comes to making more money, do I plug my ears and go “la la la” because it could bring me more grief than rewards, or do I forge ahead like all the other people who have no concern for anything but themselves and hope that a few hundred dollars here doesn’t cost me thousands later on?

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