God willing and the creek don’t rise

Posting this for no other reason than that it moved me. And lately, it takes a mountain to move me, so there you have it.

“I was trying to make you see me
Like the way you did before
So I took off my clothes and I opened a bottle
And told you I’d do whatever you wanted
Naked on the floor, crying I’m too beautiful
Oh my poor, poor, pauvre coeur
Beats no more.”

— Jillette Johnson, “Pauvre Coeur”

Mercury is retrograding. Which, for a Gemini, is like pulling the Tower card in tarot. In other words, shit’s getting real.

Problem is, you don’t know WHAT is going to change, but it’s going to be big when it happens. Somebody hold my earrings!

Apparently my house of relationships is affected. Which, if the love of my life is hovering around somewhere, he will present himself.

God willing and the creek don’t rise.

All my astroscopes keep telling me that someone from the past is hanging around and maybe things will get resolved. But all the instructions I’m reading about handling retrograde as a child of Mercury is to NOT say everything that is on my mind because it’s going to be misinterpreted.

Um, have you MET me? When I decide to be clear, I am QUITE clear. Which is why I’m letting the person from the past hang around and enjoy my sparkling wit instead of me hauling off and saying EVERY DAMN THING that pops into my head. Because, I don’t want to sugarcoat it when it comes out.

Of course, that’s when he will realize what an asshole I can be. I can be classy and sweet and nice 97% of the time. But when it comes to matters of the heart, I LOSE it.

Evidence: this blog. 🙂

And I keep reminding myself to rise above … to say what I need to say either in riddles or in soft tones and polished words that don’t wound as much as I might possibly want them to. Because when he comes back around (and they all do, let’s face it), I want to be able to know that I was a class act. Even and especially when I felt like being EVERYTHING but.

My 2 cents on the whole thing: I think he loved me. More than he expected to. And it scared the hell out of him.

I always thought I wanted him more. But I can’t shake the wonder if that weren’t the other way around.

I guess we will see what Mercury has to say about it before it turns direct again, eh?

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