‘Boob tube’ indeed (and other girly issues)

I always enjoy the Superbowl halftime shows (actually, just the commercials), so I was sad to be in Silver Spring, Md., when Justin Timberlake exposed Janet Jackson’s breast during “Rock Your Body.”

Because CBS execs are in an uproar over this crazy stunt during what it thinks is a family show (um, no — the show was appropriately tailored to its horny hetero male target audience), everyone’s issuing apologies that the act was unintentional and unrehearsed. Yeah, sure. ‘Cause, you know, Janet just HAPPENED to have a silvery, sunburst-shaped pastie on her nipple. ‘Cause, you know, I’m wearing one right now ’cause those aren’t itchy or uncomfortable or anything. HAH!

In any event, I’m hurtin’ today from Shawn’s grand move to Maryland last night (although I am MOST grateful that he sold a lot of his furniture prior to this odyssey!). We left a two-floor house and dragged everything to a third-floor apartment. Problem with the third floor is that it’s at the top of five flights of stairs. I’m already a wimp and can’t carry much because I’m just not altogether that physically strong, but trying to drag this ass (and Aunt Flow, who showed up just to attend the move) up all those stairs was just morally wrong. But the new place is way cute, and I hope Shawn and the boys will be happy there (Kirby seemed OK, but Jynx was giving himself a heart attack from yipping and freaking out over the adventure).

I had more doggie adventures than I care to recount, but what the hell — while I’m here, I’ll share. 🙂 Kirby rode to Maryland in my car, and he was very good, lying in the backseat and not whimpering much. But then he got the bright idea that I might drive better with his head in my armpit. He attemped to crawl into the front seat a few times, but luckily, I had Bryan with me to shove him back where he belonged. I have a Garfield doll clinging to the window (shut up, it’s Valentine’s Day-themed), and Kirby was licking its ass for part of the ride. (Sidenote: Kirby likes poop. He eats poop all the time. He sniffs Jynx’s ass and waits for poop to come out. So he has an ass fetish.)

The other doggie adventure came when I REALLY needed to use the bathroom at the new place. Jynx had been creating such a ruckus that someone had shoved him and his cage in the small bathroom, and I literally had to wedge myself in between him and the toilet. I later told Shawn that his dog got a firsthand account of how to insert a tampon correctly, and Shawn shuddered and chastised me for scaring his puppy.

The night ended on a dramatic note (it always does, but the source of the drama always rotates), but I was at least home to catch the end of “Sex and the City” to see Charlotte’s bleeding dog. Ugh. That reminds me that I’ve got to get Kadi spayed soon so she doesn’t start adding blood to her already nasty shitty skid marks on my beige carpet. *twitch*

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