‘OK Momma, stop pushin’
Speaking of the husband I never met, I almost thought I had a meet-cute today.
A guy in Dollar Tree started talking to me and he realized he lost his phone.
He asked if I could call it.
I thought hmm, a trick? But no, he truly looked nervous.
So I said of course and I called it.
We didn’t end up finding it. But a lady paged from the front that they found a phone, and he was off.
I didn’t think anything of it, but he kept saying “Thank you, thank you!” to me as he dashed to the front.
When I was checking out, I got a call from that number. But I couldn’t understand the mumbly cashier, so I let it go to voicemail.
It rang again as I was merging into traffic. Ignored.
Then I channeled my mother a bit. Pointing out as always that men would watch me and be terrified to approach me. (Which happened in Sprouts today.)
“Be nice,” she would say. “Can you be nice?”
We know that answer.
Anyway I was just sitting here and he called again.
I thought, “OK Momma, stop pushin'” — just like from the “Hope Floats” movie.
I pick up and he’s like hello who is this.
I said what?
He said I missed a call from you?
Dude is lucky he’s cute because he’s not too bright.
I said yes, from the Dollar Store? When you lost your phone?
He paused and he said oh! Yes! Hey I got it back!
I laughed and said obviously.
Then he’s like OK thanks! and hung up.
Like …
Damn.
That would have been such a fun story to tell someday. If he had, say, used my number for good instead of FORGETTING what happened five minutes earlier.
Fuckin’ men.