Olivia is my hero. Even more than before. For reasons.

March 6th, 2015, 12:49 PM by Goddess

And this is why, while I will always swoon at the idea of Fitz and making jam in Vermont, I will always gravitate to Team Jake.

‘Scandal’: Olivia and Fitz are the Worst Couple Ever

“Throughout the show, Olivia and Fitz have continuously allowed common sense to fall by the wayside, holding on to the fantasy that they could live happily ever after post-White House. Liv has not only accepted that this isn’t realistic, but now sees Fitz for who he really is — weak, ungrateful and far too willing to throw it all away. …

“Maybe now Liv can permanently set aside her dreams of making Smuckers with bae and get back to being the fixer we loved in Season 1.”



Late-night ‘Scandal’ rerun-watching

December 20th, 2014, 11:09 AM by Goddess

The “I Belong to You” discussion in the Rose Garden. *swoon*

Olivia: I wait for you. I watch for you. My whole life is you. I can’t breathe because I’m waiting for you. You own me, you control me, I belong to you…”

Fitz: You own me!

You control me.

I belong to you.

I love you. I’m in love with you. You’re the love of my life.

My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face.

I can’t breathe without you. I can’t sleep without you.

I wait for you, I watch for you. I exist for you.

Yeah he wins that one. Daaaaammmnnn.



Feeling ways about things

November 3rd, 2014, 9:24 PM by Goddess

“Prince of Tides” time. I don’t even have to look up the quote to nail the closing monologue word for word …

We spent our last hours together at the Rainbow Room, dancing a slow dance, just like in my dream.

I held her in my arms, as I told her that it was her doing that I could go back. Six weeks before I was ready to leave my wife, my kids.

I wanted out of everything, but she changed that. She changed me.

For the first time I felt like I had something to give back to the women in my life. They deserved that. So I returned to my southern home and my southern life, and it is in the presence of my woman and children that I acknowledge my life, my destiny.

I am a teacher, a coach, and a well-loved man. And it is more than enough.

In New York, I learned that I needed to love my mother and father in all their flawed, outrageous humanity. And in families there are no crimes beyond forgiveness.

But it is the mystery of life that sustains me now. And I look to the North and I wish again that there were two lives apportioned to every man and every woman.

At the end of every day I drive through the city of Charleston, and as I cross the bridge that will take me home I feel the words building inside me.

I can’t stop them or tell you why I say them, but as I reach the top of the bridge, these words come to me in a whisper.

I say them as prayer, as regret, as praise.

I say, “Lowenstein… Lowenstein…”



50 Shades of Genius

July 26th, 2014, 9:40 AM by Goddess

The Atlantic points out how the stripped-down version of Beyonce’s “Crazy in Love” for the “50 Shades of Grey” trailer is the best part of the tattered mess that is the book/film.

“(Beyonce’s) presence suggests that a 50 Shade fantasy for women is not just to be with Christian, but to be him.”

I admit I bought all three audiobooks and barely got a third of the way through the first one. (The things you do while stuck on 95 in a thunderstorm …)

At first I thought I might like it because, let’s face it, women who are in control in every area of their lives could stand having a man in charge for a change. Because even those in charge really aren’t. It’s the illusion you feed them to stoke their widdle egos so they can swing their widdle dicks around with some misplaced sense of pride.

In any event, if I heard Anna Steele mutter “Oh my!” one more time, I was going to hurl my 5S out the window whilst driving that hideous highway.

I imagine the movie cannot possibly be worse than the book. But in this case, I think if I’m going to spend any more money on this awful franchise, it will be for the soundtrack. And if I want to see weak men with a God complex fueled by strong women who have to act simple so as not to overshadow them, well, I don’t have to pay fourteen bucks to experience that.



The Deacon of it all

March 29th, 2013, 7:28 AM by Goddess

On a brighter note, my new reason to live — or at least to start the hour-long drive home from work by 9 on Wednesdays so I’m home at 10 — is Deacon, Charles Esten‘s OMG SO HOT character on “Nashville.”

And of course this week he meets a homely blonde with no personality. And calls her his “girlfriend” in the previews for next week’s episode.

Seriously, ABC. You gotta pay me some royalties for stealing my life here. But I owe you for the squees and other delightful thoughts our delicious, scruffy guitarist Deacon inspires every week for me, so we’ll call it even.



Nearness, but not closeness

October 21st, 2012, 10:01 AM by Goddess

Well, the highlight of my evening was certainly NOT getting pulled over as I turned into my apartment complex, just for the cop to tell me I have a headlight out. Sigh. Everyone came out on their balconies to watch.

Good thing I’d only had two glasses of wine. (And a huge, delicious dinner to absorb it.)

Of course, I saw the cop flash his lights at me and I figured I should just go pull into my spot and start taking my leftovers and other goodies out of the car. He didn’t know what to do with me because I was organized and put all my paperwork in his hand before he even asked for it. It was great. 🙂

Anyway, hallelujah to no ticket. But I wanted to remember a line from “Looper,” which we saw last night … which wasn’t half-bad, actually. Not my cup of tea but I’d rather see stupid movies on the big screen and wait to buy good movies on DVD. (I’m looking at you, “Perks of Being a Wallflower.”)

There was a part where “future Joe” came back to the present and told his current self all about the woman he meets who basically loves him back to life. He said how this amazing person gave up everything to love his miserable, pathetic ass — he didn’t deserve it at all, but he would never have become a better man without this selfless and amazing creature.

My mind wandered for a moment there. We as women beat ourselves up constantly for everything we’re not. But we never really do stop and credit ourselves for loving with every fiber of our being. Sure, we tend to love the ones who don’t deserve it and/or can’t find it in themselves to try to return it. But if I put as much heart into my job and friendships as I did into the men I’ve loved, I could have achieved something pretty damn amazing in my day.

Needless to say, work isn’t my first love anymore. We’re in a nice “like” stage and I want to keep it that way. Since, you know, I tend to go from love to hate, and back again, in five seconds flat.

Right now I’ve got a wall around my heart. I am not sure if I’m just looking for an affair (not with anyone married. I’m not a whore, thanks. Just … looking for proximity but not necessarily closeness) or how long this phase of not wanting to give all of me again will last. But it feels good to be somewhat in control of my feelings again.

What I wouldn’t do to have a man like “old Joe” being so passionately in love with me that he’d travel back from the future to make everything right so that he could be with me again. Now THAT would be worth tearing down those walls for. …



Last post about that stupid trial — I promise!

July 9th, 2011, 10:55 AM by Goddess

So what if I’m beating the horse as it’s being processed at the glue factory?

Everyone’s telling me it’s time to let go. I know that. But if it were me, I sure as hell wouldn’t want the world going back to normal 24 hours later. I’d want an advocate, damn it. As many of them as I could get!

Perhaps as proof of my altered state, I wrote to Nancy Grace. (I know, WTF, right?) I am shocked to say has grown on me in the last two months. BOMBSHELL! 😉

Anyway, I said thanks for pushing for justice for Caylee Anthony — now it’s time to move on and give a voice to the rest of those who don’t have one.

I know Foghorn Leghorn Cheney Mason faults the woman for beating the drum for three solid years and, probably, until the end of time. But irritating though she may be, she has the ability to give people the smackdown in a way the rest of us can only envy.

In an ideal world, I wish I had her advocating for my mom. Maybe she wouldn’t be so sick and in so much pain all the time — she deserves to be well and to live FAR more than “Tot Mom” does.

That’s what I’m maddest about. That four therapists have offered to help the psychopath from Orlando. How about somebody donating some services to someone who isn’t famous?

I don’t have kids. I could, of course. I’ve employed all forms of population control and, therefore, don’t. And I worry if would be as bad a mother as Casey was. I don’t do a lot but I don’t want to have to give that little bit up. Plain and simple.

Caylee became America’s little girl and, thus, mine. I fell in love with her. But the thing we all have to remember is that child, in death, became more-loved than she ever was in life.

I wish we could spotlight the good parents, as well as the people who give their children to better homes where they’re wanted. I hate it that we focus on the crazies.

But that’s just it — I’m sure my Extra Ultra Mega Uber Extended Houseguest from Outer Space has given me FAR more reason to put her on the Space Shuttle than Casey had reason to kill Caylee. I know my ass would FRY if I did what she did.

Of course, now that murder has been declared legal in Florida as of July 5 (verdict day), well, maybe I have some protection under “Florida v. Anthony.” I could only hope for a similar set of jurors who don’t understand that “thinking she did it” does NOT mean “not guilty.” 🙂

Anyway, friends, I won’t be a vigilante for that homely hobag to the north. Although she said she wants to move to South Florida — maybe we can send her to Little Havana (in Miami) and strap a $50 to her (with Henkel duct tape, of course) and see what happens.

And I won’t be tossing the Mega Uber roommate into a swamp, either. But none of this will ever stop me from praying for a world where everyone will be wanted and loved, at any age and in all circumstances.

Too bad my pudgy pork roast ass is too big for me to run for Miss America. I want world peace, damn it!



I miss Chloe already

January 12th, 2009, 7:13 AM by Goddess

Janeane Garofalo’s nerdy, nervous “Janis” character on 24 is simply not cocky or confident enough to fill Mary Lynn Rajskub’s “Chloe’s” clearly too-tight shoes. She cannot triangulate on command — ergo, what good is she to Jack Bauer? Damn government employees. 😉

I probably won’t be home from work to see tonight’s episode of “24.” (We pack three meals for work on Monday, or else we will have our grubby mitts elbow-deep in Candy Corner.) But so far, the season’s looking promising, with great shots of D.C. landmarks and even a “news” clip featuring Fox5DC’s Brian Bolter. I give the producers props for paying attention to the little details like that.

Of course, those seem to be the only details they got right. C’mon, people. Skyscrapers? In D.C.? Parking lots? No gratuitous Potomac River shots, not even from National Airport?

I’m going to try to give credit to them for basing their layout of the city on wishes and dreams, so as not to compromise our “real” national security. But go check out WeLoveDC.com’s liveblog from the first two hours of Jack Bauer’s latest case of the Mondays for a much-more-detailed look at the geographical anachronism that is the new season of “24.”



‘Here I Go Again’

January 5th, 2009, 9:58 PM by Goddess

If I were younger or dumber or looking to get fired, I would write about my day. But let’s assume that I’ve just spent the last 5,000 words describing every tool in the box, and we can all move on from here. 😉

I feel better already!

Actually, you know what’s been making me happy in my captivity these past few days? VH1’s 100 Greatest Hard Rock Songs of All Time countdown. Who knew that all the songs that defined my youth would appear in a five-hour retrospective special on the former Video Hits One, where adult contemporary once went to die?

I had to giggle when one of my F-book friends from high school became a fan of Poison. We were all such wannabe hoochies, dressing up like Madonna as we went to all the heavy metal concerts we could afford from our summer camp job money. She was going to marry C.C. Deville while I was lusting after a three-way with Jon Bon Jovi and Kip Winger.

My dreams haven’t changed all that much. 😉

I’d say “seriously, though,” as a transition to the next thought, but I ain’t kidding … not one bit!

Nothing makes me happier than either dancing around Metro stations with R&B on the iPhone (check the security cameras at Metro Center from last weekend. You’d be amused), or listening to all that “devil music.” At a time when I’m feeling particularly lost and devoid of the bulk of life’s pleasures, it’s weird how I rediscovered my soul while listening to Megadeth and Dio and Dokken and Ratt and Motley Crue and Alice Cooper and all the other music that is now too loud because I’m too old. 😉

I don’t have any deep epiphany beyond remembering when I was a wee lass, scribbling my early books in my spiral-bound notebooks for school, while listening to that music. Dreaming of those rock stars, of being the one they pulled up on stage for a song or two, of being a rock star someday myself and traveling the world and living the shit out of every day I was lucky enough to have been given.

I wrote my first book 20 years ago. It wasn’t any good and I’m sure I lost it about 85 moves ago (one hopes). But man, the dreams I had and the stories they inspired.

Wistful. I was so wistful. Now I’m nostalgic for that wistfulness. Funny, that. I always figured that, in 20 years (from then), I’d either still be partying like a rock star or I will have done all my partying and then I’d be settling down a little bit into a real life.

Not that I ever saw myself as a corporate type — I figured I’d be wearing flip-flops to work and being a cool mom who wasn’t embarrassing for the kids to be seen in public with.

And I do wear flip-flops to work — the better for sitting barefoot and Indian-style in my ergonomic chair — I just shove on “real” shoes for meetings lest anyone see my flagrant disregard for things like rules and decorum!!

I wonder if my Poison-loving friend would be shocked to know how many different kinds of music I follow these days. How I’d rush to the next Lillith Fair, were it ever reprised. How you might never catch me country line-dancing, but I know all the lyrics. How when you see me grooving and lip-syncing on the Orange Line, I’ve got some Montell Jordan/Next/Rico Love jam going on. And in the middle of it all, a little Christian/gospel for good measure?

Anyway, I totally get why older folk listen to the “golden oldies” station. It’s not really that they don’t like “that rock ‘n roll music” — it just didn’t define their dreams, their memories, their generation the way it did mine.

*making the ‘devil horns’ and headbanging, and then taking an Excedrin ’cause OW!*



Utter brilliance

September 14th, 2008, 12:54 PM by Goddess

SNL’s Hillary/Palin sketch: