Reader Poll Monday, catch-up edition

May 21st, 2007, 4:50 PM by Goddess

Here are the Qs from last week, since I missed it:

1. What was the highlight of your weekend?
Being in Vegas was fabulous. I really enjoyed the beach at Mandalay Bay, even though I was there for 90 minutes and walked away with a wicked sunburn. It just felt good to be outside, with my feet in the water and the sun on my shoulders, just feeling alive.

2. How often do you get your hair cut?
I usually rip out the scissors and hack at it when I can’t figure out what else to do with it. Every two months, maybe.

3. Can you drive a stick shift?
Not a chance.

4. If someone gave you $1,000 to spend on yourself, how would you spend it?
I’m sad to say, “That’s all?” God, I’ve gotten expensive in my old age. I’d go buy myself a 33rd (gasp!) birthday present on Friday. Or perhaps save it next month for the iPhone, although I think I’m just going to buy a Pearl and an iPod mini till I can afford the next-gen iPhone incarnation.

5. What are you most afraid of?
What goes around, not coming around.

6. Do you have any vacations planned for the summer?
Had to cancel my last vacation, got sick on this vacation. I’m going for third time’s a charm here, peeps. My friend in North Carolina is beckoning hard for me to come see her new house. I think that’s the plan, although I would never turn down any good offers if they came along. 😉

7. What is your non-alcoholic beverage of choice?
Sweet tea.

8. What is your favorite kind of cereal?
Life Chocolate Oat Crunch

9. What color looks best on you? Do you wear it often?
I get the most compliments with pink and baby blue, although I usually wear black or brown because I can slobber and spill and nobody will notice.

10. Ask me something.
Is Chipotle paying you to cheer for Chipotle Tuesdays as a new national holiday? 😉



The return of Reader Poll Monday!

May 7th, 2007, 10:17 AM by Goddess

Squee!

Ahem.

1. What is your all-time favorite song? You can only choose one.
*perusing iTunes* It would have to be a Bon Jovi song because, really, how could it not be? I’m going to go with “Wild is the Wind,” from their “New Jersey” album.

2. What is the cheapest price per gallon you recall ever paying for gas?
I remember it being below $2, although that was in a galaxy long ago and far away. I’m pretty sure it was around $1 or $1.15 in late 2001, when I started driving (at age 27. Shut up!). 🙂

3. How long do you think you could manage without any Internet access before totally losing your mind?
If it’s a workday, give it 10 minutes (just long enough to go to Starbucks and back) and I’ll be chewing off my own arm in frustration. On a weekend, I can unplug for a few days with only a passing curiosity what drama I might be missing.

4. If you could bring back one canceled TV series, which one would you choose?
I would want to see how “Reunion” turned out. But really, it’s that I miss seeing Mathew St. Patrick in high-def every week. Rowr.

5. Do you use Twitter?
Addicted!

6. Do you use MySpace?
I let all of five people see what I do there. Not so much.

7. Did you celebrate Cinco de Mayo on Saturday?
We celebrated on Friday at work, with a catered lunch from Baja Fresh, a party (which my team and I missed — we went and ate at our desks) and a mariachi band.

The mariachi band strolled the hallways afterward, and our friend Terri walked around with them, with her own sombrero and guitar. One of the musicians was at our party last year, and he asked her out. But when she said, “Are you Jewish?” and he said “What’s Jewish?” we knew it would never work out for them. *sniffle*

8. Have you ever had a mint julep?
Loved ’em — I hosted a fund-raising cotillion one year, and our theme was “An Enchanted Southern Garden.” It was when I decided I should have been a Southern belle and probably was in a past life. We even had the mint juleps in the “right” kind of glasses (my team of volunteers researched it).

9. Would you rather be in a hot dog eating contest or a pie eating contest (assuming you’d have to 5 lbs. of the food)?
Pie, preferably banana cream or sweet potato. If it’s something made with all that nasty fruity gel, I’d go with the hot dogs instead.

10. Ask me something.
When are you getting your new furniture?



Which ‘Grey’s’ lady are you?

March 25th, 2007, 2:26 PM by Goddess

In determining which “Grey’s Anatomy” character I am, I assure you if this were true, I’d be staring in the mirror all day, fantasizing about myself. 😉

Take the quiz by clicking here.



Apparently I did learn something in school after all

January 16th, 2007, 11:42 PM by Goddess
You paid attention during 91% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don’t get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz



You can’t afford me

January 13th, 2007, 4:58 PM by Goddess

Stole this from Swirl:

If you had to pay for your sins, and the going rate was as stated, how much would you have to pay to pay for all your wrong doings??

Smoked pot — $10
Did acid — $5
Ever had sex at church — $25
Woke up in the morning and did not know the person who was next to you — $40
Had sex with someone on MySpace — $25
Had sex for money — $100
Ever had sex with a Puerto Rican — $20
Vandalized something — $20
Had sex on your parents’ bed — $10
Beat up someone — $20
Been jumped — $10
Crossed dressed — $10
Given money to stripper — $25
Been in love with a stripper — $20
Kissed some one who’s name you didn’t know — $0.10
Hit on some one of the same sex while at work — $15
Ever drive drunk — $20
Ever got drunk at work, or went to work while still drunk — $50
Used toys while having sex — $30
Got drunk, passed and don’t remember the night before — $20
Went skinny dipping — $5
Had sex in a pool — $20
Kissed someone of the same sex — $10
Had sex with someone of the same sex — $20
Cheated on your significant other — $10
Masturbated — $10
Cheated on your significant other with their relative or close friend — $20
Done oral — $5
Got oral — $5
Done / got oral in a car while it was moving — $25
Stole something — $10
Had sex with someone in jail — $25
Made a nasty home video — $15
Had a threesome — $50
Had sex in the wild — $20
Been in the same room while someone was having sex — $25
Stole something worth over more than a hundred dollars — $20
Had sex with someone 10 years older — $20
Had sex with someone under 21 and you are over 27 — $25
Been in love with two people or more at the same time — $50
Said you love someone but didn’t mean it — $25
Went streaking — $5
Went streaking in broad daylight — $15
Been arrested — $5
Spent time in jail — $15
Peed in the pool — $0.50
Played spin the bottle — $5
Done something you regret — $20
Had sex with your best friend — $20
Had sex with someone you work with at work — $25
Had anal sex — $80
Lied to your mate — $5
Lied to your mate about the sex being good — $25

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Reader Poll Monday

September 25th, 2006, 7:45 PM by Goddess

Short but sweet. Fewer questions but longer answers. And in case ya’ll didn’t notice, I like to ramble!

1. Comparing your life as it currently is to the way it was a year or two or five ago, are you more content? If so, why? If not, why?

My life has changed a lot, but not at all, in some respects. I’m still a workaholic who can’t prioritize a personal relationship to save my life. Maybe I just haven’t met the right person. I don’t think any of the past ones were, so I’m not looking back or anything. But yeah, there’s that definite void of a true tag-team partner in this crazy odyssey. I’ve just wised up and gotten past the “bad boys” and am now looking for better-quality people.

It’s strange insofar as the person I am. I feel like I’ve become more comfortable with who I am, but I’ve learned to hide her more efficiently. I think, to some degree, I’ve always worn my heart on my proverbial little sleeve, but I think that shirt went through the dry cleaner’s one too many times and that heart has sort of gone into hiding. I’m more anxious than I was years ago. I used to have this grand worldview that everything would work out in the end. And while, I know, I’m far from “The End,” I can’t help but wonder if this is intermission and if so, did I waste that time not working toward any solid goals? Because I didn’t expect to be so tired and even disenchanted at such a young age.

But that’s the thing. I’m disenchanted, of course, with lots of things. And not to complain about work, but it doesn’t afford me enough time to pursue non-work interests. So I have a very hard time defining my identity as something other than what it is in relation to my role there. (OK, here. I’m writing it at work because it’s 7 p.m. and I ain’t near done yet but I found a hole in my schedule wherein I can do some personal thinking.)

What I’ve found, to cope, is to have what I call built-in downtime. We don’t really hang out and do happy hours and stuff, but we do really enjoy each other on the team and if we can swing a few minutes to talk, we love it. So basically yeah, I goof off for a few minutes here and there during the day. It’s nice and it’s great for trust-building. But if I ruled the world, it’d be done in a bar instead. Which was what I did years ago.

So, am I more content? Not at all. I’m more restless. I know my life will unfold the way it is meant to, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing time away sometimes in that I want to get to the “good part” faster.

2. What do you hope the next year will bring? Do you expect things to more or less stay the same? Or do you see big changes? How do you feel about that?

If I didn’t have the hope that life would be better next year, I wouldn’t be here. Not to intimate in the least that I am suicidal, but I can absolutely see how someone would get to the point where they’re ready to end it all. Once you lose faith that there’s got to be something bigger and better out there, you don’t have anything left.

That said, realistically I see myself in the exact same place — job, apartment, rut — next year. But do I want to be? Oh hell no. I want to work less and play more. I want to be in love — really, truly, head-over-heels addicted to someone who’s equally enamored of me because they’d be nuts to let me get away. I want to rush home to either see that person or to enjoy the fact my apartment will have finally been unpacked/decorated/furnished. I want to call my friends and suggest going out because I haven’t been so supernaturally drained from work that I actually have something left to give to them at the end of the day or week.

I’m telling the universe that I want everything it has to offer. I’m tired of thinking that the things “everyone else” has are not meant for me. I want those “normal” things, too. I am capable of so much more than I’m doing and giving. And the right people will finally wise up and figure out how to tap into that potential and benefit from it. I’m not purposely holding out on anybody — all they have to do is ask.

3. What would your ideal life situation be? Do you feel that it’s within your grasp, or merely a pipe dream?

A perfect segue. I am very relational in nature. Big pictures are the only pictures I can deal with. Details bore me and routine frustrates me. Which is why I flit from job to job, and person to person, with ease. I interview each, exhaustively, and move on to the next day’s story.

But I’m tired of that. I want to get to know someone or something really, ridiculously well. I crave comfort. I hate having a meltdown and not knowing who, if anyone, to call. I hate having my car acting up and not feeling like there’s anyone I can contact for a ride if I needed one. I’ve gotten rid of the people who feel like I owe them my firstborn if they do me a menial favor, but that doesn’t leave many others. I’m fine with that, most days. But other days I wake up and go, yeah, I really wish I could just have a hug right now. A real one.

Here’s my pipe dream. I don’t sleep much in general, and never around anyone else. And I think y’all would be surprised how absolutely uninterested I’ve been in *that* not just lately, but for a long time now. Not to say that I’m not a sexual being. I am. TRUST ME on this. But I’ve done the emotionally detached thing for way too long. And I’m through. I want to care that this person is here in the morning. I want to not be plotting my getaway excuses in mid-thrust. I want to know that if I fall asleep, I haven’t “lost” the game. That’s a level of vulnerability I haven’t achieved yet. Maybe I never will. But I hope to. And I will probably fight it kicking and screaming, but that’s half the fun, I suppose!

I want a reason to go home at night. I want a reason to stay in a particular city. I want to be able to use my ridiculous overabundance of nurturing skills to give someone else everything it is that I also want for myself.

4. Ask me something.

At what point in your life do you think you would look at it and go, “Yeah, this is what I’ve been working my way toward”? What will you have achieved that you can say, “I did good, damn it”?



To deal, or not to deal

September 20th, 2006, 1:49 PM by Goddess

Sherri asked:

What are/were your relationship dealbreakers?

It’s a case-by-case basis. For some, it’s the fact that they’re still living and breathing.

I mean, I get frustrated because one bolts for the exits at the first sign of turbulence and I get mad at another because I’m trying to hit them on the ass with the door and they’re too dumb to start walking. I want to wallop one with no sense of humor and yet strangle one who can’t take anything seriously.

The obvious dealbreakers, of course, include a wife/live-in/steady. Kids usually put me off, especially those who might live there part- or full-time. There’s a reason for that, and it’s not that I (completely) hate other people’s offspring.

But the not-so-obvious dealbreaker, and one that’s only a recent addition, is a lack of chivalry.

Read the rest of this entry »



Monday is now wasted complete

September 11th, 2006, 9:09 PM by Goddess

Reader Poll Monday, the only thing I look forward to about this hideous, wretched excuse for a day.

1. Are you as sick as I am of being smacked in the face with 9/11 every 5 seconds? Yes, it was a big, awful tragedy, but why the need to devote so much time, energy and money to making us all re-live it over and over and over again?
Um, yeah, I’m over it. Did we avenge it? Did we get the bad guys? Why is it we’ve got the asshole with the (theoretically) biggest dick in charge of the free world but we haven’t found weiner-dick bin Laden? Christ, he’s like the goddamned gopher in “Caddyshack” and we’ve got Bill Murray trying to take him out. GAWD.

The conservative press yaps that the more the liberals question/criticize our country’s actions, the stronger the terrorists become. Or whatever the argument du jour is. What a crock of shit. The more we question, the more we learn, the more we can move forward. Maybe we don’t need to share everything with the public, but instead of Tweedledum gleefully playing war with his buddies, maybe he can invite some devil’s advocates into his playroom to supply a balance and we can all find a nice, rational middle ground and solve this shit once and for all.

2. What’s your favorite kind of cookie?
Icing cookies. There’s this bakery in Pittsburgh, Kribel’s, that makes the best cookies with awesome white frosting that’s always tipped in some season-appropriate color.

3. Do you wear a watch?
Nope. Have 20 of them. But the cell phone’s time is always updated, so that rules.

4. Coffee or tea?
Javaaaahhhhhh!!! Sweet and light, please.

5. Would you rather eat a roll of toilet paper or eat a kitchen sponge with a scrubby side?
Am I to assume that neither one has been used? TP, then. I can use the fiber. 😉

6. Do you regularly burn candles at home?
I wouldn’t be a good little witch without them. And I use my powers for good.

7. What is the last thing you did to treat yourself?
I am waiting for payday to have enough money to get my migraine prescription filled, although if people would just stop giving me headaches, I could save the money and get a manicure.

I treat myself inexpensively. I have to. Designer clearance racks are my weakness — got two pairs of dress pants a few weeks ago for $12.99 each that had retailed at $89 apiece. They’re a little long (or I’m a little short) but seriously, they were CHEAP! Nice things for sub-retail price bring me joy.

The little things have to make us happy because for most of us, the small things (to others) ARE the big things.

8. Would you rather be lied to by someone you love or forced to lie to someone you love?
I’m not a good liar but I will not withstand being lied to, so let me do the lying, thanks.

9. Have you attended any of your high school or college reunions?
Fuck no to high school. College, sort of. I liked college. I had a solid group of friends freshman year, and most of us are still in contact, even if by degrees of separation.

10. Ask me something.
Is it me, or does it seem like the joke is always on us?



‘I do …’ (love to blog about anything)

August 21st, 2006, 1:33 PM by Goddess

Reader Poll Monday: Wedding Edition:

1. Where and when was the last wedding you attended?
June 11, 2006 — Tiff and Tom’s special day

2. What’s the furthest you’ve ever traveled for a wedding?
Probably 20 miles. I’ve never seen fit to buy gifts and also pay for transportation/hotel at some remote location. Send a check and have a free day, I say.

3. What’s your general opinion of weddings?
I used to be opposed to marriage in general, having never seen one work out in real life. But then I realized how many people don’t have that right, so I’ve come to regard it much more highly.

That said, most of the weddings I’ve been to have been pretty much low-fuss, low-key events, and I like that. The rare events in which the folks getting married are actually the ones in the driver’s seat for the event have been the best ones. It’s when parents and cousins and others start getting involved that things go haywire.

And matching bridesmaid dresses? Just cruel. We’re all shaped differently and we all look best in different colors. My one friend is a perennial bridesmaid and has about four dozen hideous dresses in her closet. But for one wedding, the bride’s mom custom-made sundresses for all the girls, and they were all encouraged to find simple, elegant black sandals. Read: an outfit and shoes you can wear again and again. And cheap! No paying $300 for some taffeta poufy mess you’ll hate for the rest of your life.

I was a bridesmaid in a commitment ceremony a couple of years ago. I got to pick my dress and shoes and everyone was happy I showed up and had a good time. I love that dress — I have no reason to wear it (or the stiletto sandals that matched) again, but I got both on sale and felt like a princess that day. It was like the grooms were the hosts and everyone else was an honored guest. That was a very happy day in my memory.

Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of the happy couple, but instead they can turn (in other instances than I’ve mentioned) into days that siphon too much money and effort from guests. Between shower gifts, bachelor/bachelorette parties, wedding gifts and new clothes, whether you’re in the wedding or not, it’s a wonder everyone doesn’t just send a check and wish them well without ever having to leave the house.

4. What’s your favorite wedding tradition?
Enjoying the open bar.

5. Least favorite?
Money dances. Gah. It goes back to “let’s milk the guests for each individual dollar they might still have on them.” We did lots of these in Pittsburgh, although I have yet to deal with one in D.C. You “get” the pleasure of dancing with the bride or the groom (your choice) but for a tip. It’s goofy, it’s tacky and it’s a ripoff. 😉

6. What do you usually give as a gift?
Cash. It’s not that I don’t have gift ideas in mind, because I used to always give Wedding Capsules (full of scrapbooking shit so they can record their milestones) and wineglasses and a halfway decent bottle of wine, but at this age, everyone has stemware and everything else household-related. Besides, cards are so much less cumbersome.

7. What’s the best thing you ever eaten at a wedding?
Any reception not held in a fire hall usually means decent food. I’ve had enough fried chicken and ravioli and homemade cookies at weddings to choke a horse. Tiff and Tom’s wedding featured the cuisine of the beloved Boulevard Woodgrill and cupcakes (in lieu of wedding cake) from Cake Love, and that’s the best combination I can think of!

8. What’s the most bizarre thing you’ve seen at a wedding?
Line dancing. Chicken dancing. Cake-smashing. I hate it when couples pummel each other with cake. It’s tacky. I also hate it when people show up underdressed (it’s not hard to find something other than jeans), and I hate it even worse when all the drunken uncles get drunk(er) and act simple.

9. Have you ever dated someone you met at a wedding?
I’ve met people at weddings but no one I ever ended up in a relationship with.

10. Would you rather have a big wedding or just elope?
I’ve always been an elopement fan, but it would really depend on the person I’d be with. I have a very small family and an equally tiny, but rock-solid, group of friends. I don’t need a lavish affair. But if having family and friends present is important to Mr. Someday, then I’d reconsider, but I’d insist on keeping frills and drama to an absolute minimum.



Fun. Twisted, but fun nonetheless

August 14th, 2006, 8:31 PM by Goddess

Reader Poll Monday rides again:

Would you rather:

1. Watch a porno with your parents OR starring your parents?
I’ll take door No. 1. My mom had some damn good porn that she stashed very uncreatively in my bedroom when I was a teen, given that the only VCR in the house was in my room. Nice work, Mom. 🙂

Her friend’s husband is a bit of a porn fiend so he’d copy tapes for her. I enjoyed watching them by myself and I’m sure now that I’m older, I wouldn’t be squicked the fuck out by watching them with her. Not completely, anyway. Besides, when I went off to college, she and the asshole o’ the month broke my damn bed, and I’m just glad I didn’t have to witness it!

2. Lick the handle on a public restroom toilet OR eat a wad of toilet paper from the stall floor?
I’m certain I’ve licked worse.

3. Be MC Hammer OR Vanilla Ice?
Oh good lord. Seriously? Seriously? MC Hammer. He’s got an iota more street cred than Ice. But not much more.

4. Be able to fly OR read people’s minds?
See, I’d go with mindreading, which I’m sort of good at anyway. BUT the caveat is that I don’t want to know what some of them are thinking. And my heart would break if I’d predicted otherwise if I’d mindread and it turns out they really despise me.

Of course, if certain people would read my mind, all they’d see is a double-fingered victory salute. Not that it would take a fricking psychic to know what I think of them!

5. Have whatever you want for one year then die OR be paralyzed for life?
“I’d rather have five minutes of wonderful, than a lifetime of nothing special.” Ah, Shelby.

6. Have a permanent smile OR a permanent blank stare?
I sort of rotate between the two. Give me the smile. It just pisses ’em off.

7. Be burned alive OR drown?
Drown. Leaves a better corpse.

8. Be known worldwide as a racist OR a child molestor?
Sweet everlovin’ Jesus. Seriously? Oh, wait, did that line already. Ahem. I like my boys fully grown, thanks, and I don’t care what flavor they come in. I gotta say, I’ve been called a LOT of names in my life, but never either of those. Everything else pales in comparison. *shudder* It’s a wishy-washy answer, but I can’t do it.

9. Eat three pounds of hair OR drink a gallon of shampoo?
Shampoo, I guess. Easier to choke down.

10. Be god OR the devil?
The devil, baybee. I’ve got the sick, sadistic sense of humor to make it an enjoyable odyssey. Besides, more than a few people need a piping-hot pitchfork in their asses, and I’d like to be the one to poke ’em hard.