Girl power and other things swirling around in my squash

My life is a Joni Mitchell album.

When I was interviewing with T., he kept talking about profit-sharing. Like, stick with me and you’ll own part of this empire.

I heard that from LVP, and I said so. We all know what a world-class liar LVP is.

T said well yeah. But LVP didn’t even own the biz. Not his place to promise you jack. I however do have that power. Mission 1: Serve the customers great stuff you can be proud of. Mission 2: Share in the profits and keep the team small to keep the profits bigger.

I told him that it all sounded like a Joni Mitchell song. Cue up some “Cactus Tree”:

“He has seen her at the office
With her name on all his papers
Through the sharing of the profits
He will find it hard to shake her
From his memory
And she’s so busy being free.”

I meant that in the best way possible.

Here in post-breakup/stayed with the guy you finally got brave enough to leave land, cue “A Case of You”:

“Go to him
Stay with him if you can
But be prepared to bleed.
Oh but you are in my blood
You’re my holy wine
You’re so bitter
Bitter and so sweet.”

Monday night, I was up with a never-ending series of panic attacks.

But Tuesday was OK. Calm. The only thing that annoyed me was getting into a fight with someone about why I don’t want to move my computer into my new office RIGHT THIS SECOND. And then telling her fine, I will pick out some whiteboards. Where do I want them? I dunno, I guess here. Then being told I was making a bad choice and she would put them THERE. Oh and I should have more furniture — look how bare it is in here. And what make you face the desk to the window like that — you moved that yourself?!


I’ve had plenty enough with men putting doubt in my head. Two men saying don’t go to the other. Men historically underpaying me and telling me to be grateful. Men basically forbidding me from having a break or a life but not missing a moment of theirs. Don’t you start any kind of “mean girl” crap with me because I have enough swirling around in my squash.

Speaking of mean girls …

I really thought my recent boss was going to be a mean girl. We got off to a rocky start. I get why now. She loved my sarcasm but didn’t want it to affect her girls. Girls she took care of and helped and promoted and really gave a fighting chance to.

Girls who won’t return her calls or agree to go to a happy hour in her honor that I am trying to pull together.

Bitches. Good to see what I’m REALLY up against.

My boss is a total girl’s girl. She prepared me for the fight of my life. Her friendship was genuine and her advice was spot-on. I got the result I wanted. I’m pretty sure it was the result SHE wanted.

You know who’s coming to that happy hour? MY friends. My two amazing friends who got nothing from her but who love and respect her because she is a good person who was good to ME.

Moral to this story — I wanted to leave with my friends. I loved us all quitting on the same day. But we will still all be friends for at least a short, and hopefully a long, time to come.

This place brought us together. It didn’t turn out the way any of us thought it would. I mean, I joined first and I’m watching them go and I’m staying to run the place.

It’s mind-boggling. Just in November, I had joked that, when I was being laid off, I’d stay and keep working without the paycheck like Milton in “Office Space.”

Shit, my new office is our old Storage Room B that they cleared out because they realized a woman needs a room of her own. Who says you don’t speak your own fate into existence?

In any event, behind every man — great or otherwise — is a group of girlfriends like us. And which man doesn’t matter. It’s honoring those who helped us and then helping the next generation that will be what defines our success.

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