Spellbound

August 10th, 2007, by The Goddess

Today was a pseudo-hooky day from work, and to ensure I shut off the e-mail and cell phone once I was truly done, I took my happy ass to the cinema.

A friend had been streaming the “Once” soundtrack over iTunes at work, and spoke highly of both it and the movie itself. I heard a couple of songs and bought the soundtrack immediately, and I didn’t even read a review of the movie — the music alone compelled me to find out where it was playing because I was spellbound.

Had I read the reviews, I would have known that the two lead characters are never actually named. Even in IMDB, it’s “the guy” and “the girl.” I was wondering throughout the movie what their names were, but at some point I realized the lead character was the music, and maybe you could even list the lyrics as the secondary character.

And they don’t need names. They are everyman and everywoman. I was sitting there assigning my own names to the characters, from my own life. When I’m creating my own fiction, I am very much insistent on the names that mean something to me. The antagonist in my stories is named after the most obnoxious person I’ve ever known. The heroine is one of my alter egos. The heroes are named not necessarily after the people who inspired the characters, but instead names they may recognize or appreciate from things that remind me of them. Names are crucial to the writer, but when the viewer can assign them, well damn, all the better.

The neat thing is that the “guy” and the “girl” are professional musicians in real life. And these days, I can forgive any perceived flaws on film if I want to run out and buy the soundtrack. But it didn’t hurt the film at all. And maybe that’s the way it should be from now on — let people who already have a job do the acting in movies, as these cokehead starlets are riding their own ego trips too hard to be able to handle the pressure. The guy is Glen Hansard, who fronts a band called The Frames in real life. And the girl is Marketa Irglova, who did an album with Glen last year and who really had some serious on-screen chemistry with him as they literally (OK, and figuratively) made music together.

Toward the beginning, when the guy and the girl were in the music store, he playing guitar and she learning the notes to his song “Falling Slowly,” I just flat-out started sobbing. I mean, wow. Just wow.

“Falling slowly, eyes that know me
And I can’t go back
Moods that take me and erase me
And I’m painted black
You have suffered enough
And warred with yourself
It’s time that you won.”

– Glen Hansard, “Falling Slowly

The thing is, I’ve probably listened to the soundtrack a thousand times, but seeing it in context, letting it push and pull the characters, brought it to life for me. Each song is more haunting than the next, mostly because I identified with something in it. Even “Gold,” which wasn’t my favorite lyrically, starts off with this fucking amazing guitar riff, and I got chills when I heard it in surround sound.

But I’m dancing around the storyline. Because I don’t know how to put it into words. I loved and hated the ending equally. The writer in me absolutely fell in love with it, because you knew that there were so many possibilities — so many ways the story beyond the closing credits could end. But the woman in me with way too many thoughts swirling around in her head was blowing an absolute gasket, wondering whether all that magic would manifest in any greater way.

I’m choosing to look at it as a happy ending. I’m hoping that what’s meant to be (in my head) will be. And yeah, I was still sobbing through the credits and even after the lights came on.

Where are you my angel now, don’t you see me crying
And I know that you can’t do it all, but you can’t say I’m not trying
I’m on my knees in front of him, but he doesn’t seem to see me
But all his troubles on his mind, he’s looking right through me
And I’m letting myself down in satisfying you
And I wish that you could see I have my troubles, too.”

– Marketa Irglova, “The Hill”

Anyway, the one thing I walked away from the movie wanting to do was write. Even if I can’t produce a fantastic story like that because I just can’t write the soundtrack that’s in my head because I have no freaking idea how to record it (i.e., can’t read or write music. Or, for that matter, lyrics), I just want to do something, anything creative. Something I love. Something I can’t live without. And if there’s anyone out there with a similar passion, just like “the guy,” all the better.

And I completely and totally have a crush on Glen Hansard now. I know, I know, probably a firecrotch and all. ;) But dear God, that’s a man who can ignite every nerve in my body with the mere sound of his voice. To hear him imploring, “If you’ve got something to say to me, you’d better say it to me now.” *swoon* I can forgive a lot of flaws in any man if he can write, can speak proper English and can make me gush in my gutchies with an amazing tone. (Hmm, maybe that’ll be my next dating-service ad headline!)

I had to go to the art house cinema (supposedly) to see this thing. I don’t know how long it’s been out or whether it’s going into mass release or it was already in it. Whatever. Just, go see it. I would have seen it again had I not been forced to run out and feed the damn parking meter. :) But there’s always another day, and yes, there’s always the soundtrack (which is only $7.99 in the iTunes Music Store) to occupy me in the meantime until I can buy the DVD!



Pass the prune juice, please

July 4th, 2007, by The Goddess

Lachlan posted about the music she grew up with. On 8-track. And also being born in ‘74, I felt her pain that the young’ns in her life can’t fully appreciate the music we hold so dear, even if it IS Barry Manilow. (Don’t judge — I love it too!)

I recently had the honor of playing “Guitar Hero” with a dear friend, and well, we appreciate it for COMPLETELY different reasons. He totally rocks at it and knows the songs because, well, that’s probably where he knows most of the songs from. (Ah, to be 25 again. …) And he was GOOD at playing along with songs such as Kiss’ “Strutter” and Kansas’ “Wayward Son” and other goodies from Cream and Bad Religion and White Zombie. *swoon*

(Clearly “Headbanger’s Ball” ruled my world. Yay for the VH1 Classic station!)

See, I completely sucked at the game because I was far too busy headbanging and singing and having flashbacks of WHEN THESE SONGS WERE ON THE RADIO. And not satellite radio or “oldies” stations — when they came out, kids. (Don’t get me started on how much I was digging Warrant’s “Cherry Pie,” either. LOVED IT.)

He was terrific at the game because he played it enough to learn the songs and feel the rhythm and could actually play at an advanced level. Old-ass here couldn’t even master the beginner level because she was too busy remembering how much she wanted to be a GROUPIE, not a GUITARIST!

(I have my grandfather’s guitar now. I totally have “taking lessons” on my to-do list now.)

I felt really old when I realized my companion hadn’t even been born when MTV launched; I think I was 8 years old but I remember diggin’ me some Buggles on that glorious August day. :)

It’s funny — MTV used to play the same 15 or so videos in constant rotation way back when. But now that they have MILLIONS of videos to choose from, you’ve got to be up at 4 a.m. in order to see any of ‘em because everything’s “Real World” and “Road Rules” and whatever shows distract us from, gee I don’t know, learning about new music and enjoying some of the old.

I really don’t think that I’m all that old, but how sad is it that the music I grew up with is “new and hip” to the next generation and for me, it’s nostalgia?!?!

Oh, and don’t THINK I haven’t downloaded the “Guitar Hero” set as my new-favorite iTunes playlist. … ;)



New music Tuesday

June 19th, 2007, by The Goddess

I miss the recently departed “angsty Goddess” because the blog entries when I’m in a dither tend to be a little more substantial. At least I squoze a few half-decent tirades out of my last cycle, though. ;)

Anyway, loving “Lost Highway” already and I’ve only listened to four songs. So far my favorite is “Whole Lot of Leavin.’”

The band showed up on the “Today Show” this morning. I was busy throwing my underwear at the TV, although I think I’m going to need a new screen because I happened to be in them at the time.

Bon Jovi’s starting its world tour in January. I’m thinking that I should use the vacation hours I’m losing to go travel to see one of the “local” shows they’re holding (local to themselves, that is), although A) they’re in Newark and B) they’re in October. Rats.

I just saw a note from Pratt that at least the band will be on “Unplugged” Friday. *squee!* I may have to turn down a date to spend the evening with my favorite shaggy-haired rocker, but I think the sacrifice will end up being worth it. ;)

Now back to my regularly scheduled navel-gazing. ….



‘I’m not happy, but I’m going to be’

June 12th, 2007, by The Goddess

It’s a Nina Gordon/”Bleeding Heart Graffiti” kind of day here in the neighborhood. Although it’s more of a “Turn on Your Radio” day than the “Don’t Let Me Down” that this entry title stems from.

All I have to say is this. I’m hoping I’ve finally reached the point in my existence where the universe has tormented me enough for one lifetime. There’s a part of me that feels so free of all the crap right now, and it’s almost scary how easily things will fall through your fingers if you just let them.

Scarier still how other things slip away, too, as though you were holding on with a thick coat of baby oil slicked on your skin in the process.

Oh well.

I think this is the point where normal people question their self-worth. And maybe I’m odd in that I don’t. I just think maybe I had to burn out and die a little bit so that something new can rise from the ashes. It just never ceases to amaze me that, no matter how irons a girl can throw into the proverbial fire, everything can still end up icy cold.

“All the horses and all the men
Couldn’t bring her back again
And we tried so hard
But couldn’t save her day
All the millions and the billions
Of stars that shine into her eyes
Were barely bright enough to light her way.”

– Nina Gordon, “Bones and a Name”



‘There’s still a whole lot more left to this night’

June 11th, 2007, by The Goddess

On heavy rotation at Chez Caterwauling tonight, perhaps the first night I’ve been OK in a long time. …

“It’s closing time
Got no place to go
No, I’m not tired
Nobody’s waiting at home

Hey, what about you?
Looks like you’re leaving alone
Guess that makes two — me and you
By the way, my name’s Jones

Yeah, I know a place
It’s not far from here
That’s my dented red Chevy out front
You can follow me there

There’s no neon lights
And it don’t stink of beer
It’s just a mile up the road
Just a minute from here

These arms are open all night
If you need someone to talk to
A hand to hold onto
And if it feels right
These arms are open all night

Now the band is through
They’re breaking down the drums
They took the singer’s keys
Man, he was really drunk

They’re turning on the lights
We can’t stay here no more
Yeah, I can take a hint
Find my way out the door

So what do you think?
Yeah, are you going my way?
There’s still a whole lot more left to this night
Baby, what do you say?

These arms are open all night
If you need someone to talk to
A hand to hold onto
And if it feels right
These arms are open all night

God only knows
How long it’s been
That I’ve been this lonely

Back there at the stop sign
I see her headlights
I think she’s coming with me

These arms are open all night
If you need someone to talk to
A hand to hold onto
And if it feels right
These arms are open all night”

– Bon Jovi, “These Arms are Open all Night”