Caterwauling

I miss the recently departed “angsty Goddess” because the blog entries when I’m in a dither tend to be a little more substantial. At least I squoze a few half-decent tirades out of my last cycle, though.

Anyway, loving “Lost Highway” already and I’ve only listened to four songs. So far my favorite is “Whole Lot of Leavin.’”

The band showed up on the “Today Show” this morning. I was busy throwing my underwear at the TV, although I think I’m going to need a new screen because I happened to be in them at the time.

Bon Jovi’s starting its world tour in January. I’m thinking that I should use the vacation hours I’m losing to go travel to see one of the “local” shows they’re holding (local to themselves, that is), although A) they’re in Newark and B) they’re in October. Rats.

I just saw a note from Pratt that at least the band will be on “Unplugged” Friday. *squee!* I may have to turn down a date to spend the evening with my favorite shaggy-haired rocker, but I think the sacrifice will end up being worth it.

Now back to my regularly scheduled navel-gazing. ….

OK, so I’ve never in my life watched an eppy of “The Sopranos.” But since we were in a house with HBO last night, the remaining partygoers plopped down to watch the season finale.

As Ian said, “I want the last hour of my life back!”

God, horrible. Just, pointless. I figure, the producers clearly weren’t going for ratings, as everyone and their godfather was watching it and there’s no reason to compel people to tune in next week or next season. But, come ON people. How can you sleep at night after putting out such SHIT?

I expected some sort of resolution, but the resolution is that, here are some loose ends — you figure it out. Like a goddamned choose-your-own-adventure novel. Puh-leeze!

As Ian and I were leaving the par-tay, a guy on his cell phone came upon us, as he was walking his dog. He looked at us and remarked, “Did you just watch that stupid piece-of-shit show?” (Or something like that — believe me, it doesn’t even adequately convey the disgust.) We said we indeed had and BOY, so not worth it.

That’s all I have to say. I was looking so forward to discussing how terrific the episode was and how I totally needed to rent the show on DVD. But you know what? I’m glad I didn’t waste any more time with it than I already did.

Pfft.

I was just wishing this were Bon Jovi week on “American Idol.” (Every week should be Bon Jovi week, but I digress.) The four finalists are doing two songs each, and it’s the music of Barry Gibb this week. We’ve just seen Blake, Melinda and LaKeisha, and it’s just “dreadful,” to quote Simon Cowell. Ugh. Last week, everyone was able to shine with Bon Jovi tunes. So far, all I’m hearing is noise. Hope Jordin can pull it off — but hell, if Blake couldn’t, I don’t think anyone can. …

My favorite show on earth, “Grey’s Anatomy,” was not up to par tonight. I didn’t even realize it was a two-hour show till just now, as it’s 11 p.m. and all. I just thought the parts where they were setting up the spin-off for Addison Montgomery just SEEMED miserably long. But they didn’t seem long — they were!

The 20 minutes we got to spend with the usual crew of Seattle Grace were brilliant, of course. I see myself in Cristina more and more. Just the girl who’s always been the leader, the best student, the no-bullshit broad … but someone who just craves a little direction from someone else. It’s hard being in complete control of your destiny.

It’s nice to let someone else kind of guide you through the big and small moments sometimes. I guess it’s just a relief to be able to know someone has your best interests at heart and has your back, no matter what. I want that trust. I want that guidance and yet space to come along when you’re ready. People like her character and me, we’ll follow when we want to, and that’s what ultimately makes it our decision, even if someone else is leading the way.

I guess I finally felt like someone else “got” the stuff I’ve had swimming around my head of late (theoretically), because I don’t know how to talk about it and I don’t know how to process it otherwise. Nothing bad — quite the opposite, actually. But I guess I don’t know what to do with all these grown-up emotions when I feel like I am starting down brand-new paths that were never open to me before. I appreciate anyone who can help me to fumble along until I feel like I’m on solid ground again.

And that’s the thing — I LIKE the unknown. It just scares me, is all. But it doesn’t scare me enough to send me running back to what I know. I just need to know that I’m going to end up somewhere wonderful, surrounded by — I don’t know — everything and not standing on these unfamiliar roads by myself when I thought I would have a little bit of light to help me find my way to the other side.

Babbling as usual. But to bring it back to the show (because, let’s face it, life and TV always seem to walk in lockstep, in my world), it’s not (just) that I love “Grey’s” for the superb writing and acting. It’s how it helps to clarify my thinking that keeps me coming back, time and again. When the show goes on hiatus for the summer in two episodes, I’ll be living my life without my “friends,” but it will all feel right when I can continue learning about myself from them again in the fall.

So till then, I’ll be celebrating victories and making mistakes without having a pop culture reference for everything that happens to — and for — me. But leaving me to make sense of it all, left simply to my own wacky emotions and sometimes-convoluted logic? Is a TV series waiting to happen. …

All right, just got caught up on “American Idol” from last night. Now I can blog.

Underwear change was mandatory first, however.

OK, Phil and Chris need to go. They sang “Blaze of Glory” and “Wanted Dead or Alive,” respectively. And the dudes paid brilliant homage to their songs. Phil clearly knew every note by heart, and Chris faked it enough to make it.

Now, I know every word, note, breath, guitar riff and keyboard chord by heart that Bon Jovi has ever played as well, but it doesn’t mean I can carry it off. I think they were both high-grade karaoke renditions. Entertaining, absolutely, but star quality? Meh.

Blake shook things up with a beatbox version of “You Give Love a Bad Name.” I was prepared to hate it. You don’t fuck with Bon Jovi in my world. But given that they will never be able to do the original as, well, the original was done (see above), Blake didn’t even try. Which made it magical and memorable. I’m not a huge fan of his, but that he didn’t ruin the song AND that he took something I’ve heard 20 billion times and made it new again, I gotta give him his props. Dawg. Word.

The girls stole the spotlight. I disliked Jordin’s “Livin’ on a Prayer” from the first note. But I love her, period. You can forgive an off night for her because she had fun. She knew she stunk, but she was rocking out. To Bon Jovi. WITH Bon Jovi. I mean, really, how bad a night could a girl have?

Melinda did a GREAT job with “Have a Nice Day.” It’s weird, the songs of Bon Jovi’s that get overplayed, when they have an AMAZING collection going back to 1984, when my wee 10-year-old self became a drooling fangirl with the first strains of “Runaway.” In any event, Melinda seemed almost weirded out by her task of taking on “HAND” but her voice is too good to write her off on a technicality here. And it sounded DIFFERENT than the original. Which, let’s face it, when you’re an obsessed fan like me, if you can’t rock it like they did in the first place, you might as well do a 180 and run with it. It worked.

My favorite was LaKeisha, who I was sure was going to be voted off last week. She picked “This Ain’t a Love Song.” Which, OMG *swoon.* Bon Jovi’s best album, and certainly the most underrated, was “These Days.” That one was filled with heartbreaking anthems like “My Guitar Lies Bleeding in My Arms,” “It’s Hard Letting You Go” and “Something to Believe in.” And I love love LOVE “Hey God” and have quoted it in this blog quite often, as well as the title track (”Don’t you know that all my heroes died/And I guess I’d rather die than fade away.”) *sigh*. And to hear that man sing “Lie to Me,” lord. *quiver*

Oh, yeah, LaKeisha. Anyway, she was gorgeous. I loved her shirt. I found her one silver ballgown from Diana Ross night on Igigi.com, so I’ll be looking for the black-and-red shirt later. But wow, even I got chills when she did “Love Song.” And I think I was everyone’s toughest critic, so to say I loved her? Meant she was pretty fucking amazing.

Thank god I wasn’t a contestant this year — I doubt I would have been able to stop dry-humping Jon’s thighs enough to concentrate on the songs. But maybe it could have worked, as I DO have them all committed to memory.

Bon Jovi’s performing live on “Idol” tonight, which starts in 10 minutes. EEEEEEEEE!!! No shortage of masturbation material tonight, kids. None whatsoever. … ;9