Another one bites the dust

July 1st, 2014, 5:59 AM by Goddess

Yet another friend at work said goodbye to me. Yesterday was his last day. Found a new opportunity elsewhere.

He was a class act and didn’t say anything else. And I’ve gotten pretty rehearsed at saying, “The loss is ours” and meaning it with my whole heart, while also conveying my unspoken understanding.

We shared one last laugh, wished each other luck, and parted ways for good.

Related: Only 30% of Americans report being engaged at work

Funny, I drove behind him going home and he didn’t floor it and take off like a bat out of hell.

I guess I always expect people to do that drive for the last time with some flourish. God knows when we move the office later this year, I’ll be four-wheeling in the Sunfire like my ass was ablaze.

Another rollicking Saturday night

July 7th, 2013, 6:54 PM by Goddess

So I pulled over last night in a questionable part of town to get something out of the trunk. I got back in the car, turned the ignition and shifted the car into drive.

Unfortunately, a screw or something is loose because the car? Can’t be shifted. It sits there and basically looks at me when I throw it into first or reverse.

I noticed the gearshift was falling apart last week. About the same time something plastic came out of one of the windows that seals it shut. And long after two other pieces of plastic on the dashboard have come loose and I have to pound them into place at least three times per commute to work.

This is Mom’s car. Mine is pretty unusable, as the tires sound like the Three Stooges (with a constant “woop woop woop” sound). I drive that thing up and down U.S. 1 but I wouldn’t dare put that sucker on I-95.

So, yeah. Had to get the POS towed back home, since it was a Saturday night and the mechanic isn’t open till Monday and Mom wouldn’t let me have it towed there because it would be stripped.

The driver was nothing like my Howard who rescued me at Ye Olde Alligator Farm. Howard brought diagnostic tools and got Samantha working long enough to get me home and back and home again. Carlos laughed in my face when I asked if he could make the repair. Carlos was kind of an idiot in general, especially when he thought he could ask me out and I’d accept.

I could point out the many things he did wrong, but when he said the car wasn’t going to stay still in its parking spot here at home and what could I do to help, I lost it. I said, “Emergency brake, moron.” Although since the car is in a perma-“park” state, I didn’t see the point but whatever. Maybe I made him nervous. And he would have been cute if he could have been HELPFUL. But alas, he was no Howard.

So I get to get the car towed AGAIN tomorrow morning. Oh I cannot wait. This will be Stewie’s third time on a truck. (I call him Stewie because his red paint is peeled and he looks like a stewed tomato. Fucking Florida weather has killed my paint jobs.)

I don’t know how to “work it” with work. The mechanics are only open 8 to 5 weekdays. Somebody has to be here to fetch the car prior to my normal 9 p.m. arrival time at home. I just hope they can get it done tomorrow and that nobody has a problem with me working from home. (Oh, to be able to use vacation time …)

The good news is that I’ve been needing to get to the mechanic anyway and I haven’t had time to drop off Samantha to get new brakes so that I could drop off Stewie to get his work done. So, Stewie gets priority.

There’s a car I’ve been eyeing at one of the dealerships on my way to the satellite office. And by eyeing, I mean drooling over. It’s out of my price range but the spoiler and sunroof are so very worth it. But I am so terrified of taking on a loan. I need a damn vacation before I get a car.

Oh well. Right now I’m thanking God that I was somewhere safe (well, morons shooting off fireworks nearby aside) and had a full tank of gas and plenty of A/C while I waited for help. But the car is such a metaphor for me — it’s going to take going into total breakdown mode for me to deal with the sneaky hate spiral of escalating problems. It’s just a shame that I have to take care of the car first.

Thank you, God, for helping me to hang in there till it’s “my turn.”

Goddess’ no good very bad horrible sneaky hate spiral of a commute, part deux

May 9th, 2013, 8:36 AM by Goddess

Apparently red yield signs are for decoration in my ‘hood. There’s a weird intersection when you’re coming off the island, and it’s a triangle-shaped roundabout. I have the right of way to go left but some ninny in a big-ass truck didn’t realize that he had to stop before going straight. Anyway, I almost got wiped off the road and there were just not enough expletives to make that pain go away.

And then there are all the assholes who pull out from side streets and gas stations who SOMEHOW DO NOT SEE my little red jalopy. One of these days I’m going to flip my shit. I really am.

Half my team is working from home today. If only my little Mac were compatible with these wonderful systems, I’d be among the pants-free set today. Sigh.

Goddess’ no good very bad horrible sneaky hate spiral of a commute

May 9th, 2013, 5:46 AM by Goddess

So, yesterday’s commute? From sweet, sweet hades, I tell you.

Left the office around 8, per usual. The days are getting longer and I drive from West to East, so I get to see a lot of different-color skies as I travel what feels like about three time zones.

I chose silence in the car once again over music. When I’m stressed to the hilt I choose not to speak. When I’m one step beyond that, I can’t handle any more information coming into my brain.

By 9-ish when I got home last night, I was shaking.

The moment I pulled out of the lot and onto the real road, the asshole cop who pulled me over last year and gave me the wonderful ticket and that same ticket that got me a license-suspension notice because I didn’t complete traffic school by some imaginary deadline nobody gave me decided to follow me for a mile. That was fun. Asshole.

But it gets better.

And by better, I don’t mean that word.

The first leg of the journey is on a truck route. So, having 18-wheelers behind, in front of and beside me was a slight annoyance. The fact that they wouldn’t let me pass or break free for 13 miles was no picnic either.

Finally I get on the freeway, where a state trooper decides to tail me for 11 miles. There were two different cars at different points on the side of the road, their owners clearly in distress. Did this nitwit pull over? Hell naw.

I finally lose the state trooper somewhere before my own exit. I jump into the second-to-right-hand lane so I can get the exit and …

*smash* Almost.

I counted seven cars at a dead-stop. The last of which I missed by three inches and only by the grace of God, I assure you. I could hear breaks squealing beside me in the medial as someone else veered off the road to try to miss them too.

You know, nobody down here knows how to drive. Nobody pays attention. You cannot be tired or lost in thought or in a conversation with a passenger down here. Any love you have for driving, this state will kill for you. I promise.

So, life spared and God repeatedly thanked, I finally get to the side streets. I was coming down the bridge to my street, in the left lane, when some idiot on a skateboard fell off the sidewalk. He fell into the thankfully empty right lane but his skateboard? Came sailing at me. Somehow it went under the car and came out the other side.

Then I pulled into my own lot and got out. Whereupon some asswipe comes it at 100 mph and almost knocks me off my feet.

It’s 15 minutes till I normally leave the house and I haven’t even scrubbed my butt. Not that I’m in a huge hurry to start the workday anyway, but I just do not feel like getting in that car and doing another round-trip like the one I had yesterday.

Government FAIL

February 19th, 2013, 9:39 PM by Goddess

Another friend came to me with good news today. I’m thinking it’s more than my turn to have some of my own. But … what?

Here’s quite the opposite, in fact:

Just got a notice from the county that they’re going to suspend my driver’s license for supposed non-payment of a ticket that they didn’t even have the courtesy to list.

Look, I speed. The worse things get, the more I speed. And I have paid every last dime to this wonderful county that I owed them. Usually within a week of receiving said tickets. OK, so I didn’t do my driver’s ed course. But I paid for it. Can they take away your license for that?

I tried to take the course. But when I finished reading the instructions within two minutes, I got an error message that I was supposed to spend five minutes on that page and to go spend my remaining three minutes reading the fucking instructions.

That was the last time I bothered logging in.

Fucking government.

Gee, if they take away my license, I won’t be able to drive to work anymore! Which is where I get most of my tickets anyway. Hmmm.

In any case, clearly the county government sucks as much as the state. I hear Gov. Rick Scott refused funds to set up the ObamaCare program down here, so the feds are going to have to build it for us. What a fucking dick. Why can’t someone suspend his ability to drive so he can’t go ruin our state a little bit more, every day that he arrives at his office?