Heartburn

December 21st, 2015, 11:19 AM by Goddess

I haven’t felt very good for a long while. The stress, while not very high in general, has manifested in a semi-permanent case of heartburn.

I never say anything; I don’t want to hear about it from people with kids (which is every one I know these days) who love to tell me that I couldn’t POSSIBLY know what stress is.

Everyone’s got to top you, you know? Like, just come out and say my stresses — mom, apartment, money, sanity, loneliness (well the 1% of it that isn’t self-imposed), car and other random people who need to lose my number — are lesser than yours.

Of course, everyone thinks their stresses are worse than anyone else’s. But it’s easier to just put on a happy face and let everyone think all is well. Because then you don’t have to hear about their woes. And I like the silence very much.

I saw an opinion piece today about when it’s time to cut friends loose. And I had to laugh because every single bullet point describes me. In other words, I don’t pick up the phone … ask about jobs/kids/significant others/parents … reply in a timely manner unless I need something … or say hi just to say hi. Nope, not me.

Small talk has always annoyed me. Standing around parties, going 19 rounds with the same person — “Things good?” Yup. “What’s up?” Nothing. “Done anything fun lately?” Nope — makes me nuts.

Then because it’s Christmas you get the inevitable, “What are you doing with your time off?” I mean do you kick them in the nuts because they get two weeks off and you don’t, or just go mate with the bottle of wine that you swear has your name etched into it?

I am feeling old because I don’t want to drive anywhere anymore. I mean there are redneck assholes no matter where you go. But they all seem to be concentrated in Palm Beach County. And I’m sick of, say, seeing holiday lights like I did last night. And then getting tailgated by some asshole for two miles who doesn’t see the posted 25 mph signs so he is screaming and throwing the finger 22 times on a barely paved road. ‘Tis the season to despise humankind more than usual.

Calgon (or wine. Whichever), you know what to do.



Flashback

December 7th, 2015, 3:10 PM by Goddess

There was a wonderful gal who was the reason I got my good job in D.C. I mean, she simply forwarded my resume to the guy who would end up hiring me. But she didn’t have to give me the time of day.

I wouldn’t say we ended up as besties. But I’ve been her No. 1 fan ever since.

I thought of her today for reasons I can’t explain (laaah-sewts and such) — (aside: MY GOD when will people ever LEARN?!?!)

Back in the day, there was some schmuck who kept harassing my friend. Sexually and otherwise.

He’s … gross. And an ass. She was pretty and young and in love with her husband VERY MUCH.

My friend and the asshole were also equally talented. But his talents were valued highly … perhaps too much.

And so, she tolerated his shit for a long, long time. After all, it’s a man’s world and a man’s field we play in. But at some point she lost her shit … and rightly so.

It was mostly ignored by the higher-ups till they came up with the brilliant solution to let him go and bring him back as a freelancer … making more money.

Oh yeah, THAT’LL teach him.

He’s gone on to appear all over the TV shows/networks we all watch in my field. Ugly mofo.

My friend quit after she had to keep working with him. There were more reasons she left, which were good ones like having a baby and all. But I am not overly sure she wouldn’t have stuck it out awhile longer if she hadn’t had that “ick” factor still in her professional life.

Fuckhead Fucklestein might have gone on to bigger and better things as a result of his shithead actions. But he will always be the Bill Cosby of that company to me.

As my one friend said today, we need to round up all these assholes and have a ball-cutting party …



Ha ha

December 3rd, 2015, 11:37 PM by Goddess

Remember in my last post I said two cop cars were nearby? 

Well …

One of my neighbors shot his nuts off.

Dumbass was cleaning his gun and BOOM. 

This could totally turn me pro-gun …



Thankful for morons who keep me from spending more money

November 25th, 2015, 5:07 PM by Goddess

It’s 5 p.m. and I was hoping to be on the road right now. But I still have work to do and I haven’t packed.

Also I am pissed off at Starwood.

I booked a hotel and, a few hours later, decided I wanted to buy an extra day. So I tried (and failed) to be able to do so through the Starwood app. It said I had to give up my room type because they were out of the rooms I like.

So I fired up Priceline.com and saw my type of room available, at the rate I had locked in.

But rather than having to switch rooms, I called the hotel and said I would like to add a day. I did not care what rate I had to pay for the additional day.

Welp, the guy told me I could add that day … and totally lose the deal I had gotten on the days I had paid for already.

So let me get this straight. I as a member got a great rate. I as a member wanted to spend more money to buy an additional day. I as a member would have to pay another $15 a day for three nights I had already paid cash for.

Hmmm.

They told me to call HQ and didn’t give me the number. I said I will happily take my business elsewhere.

I mean, I will go for the days I already paid for. But screw it. I’m tired and I’m going to stay local tonight.

Last year I had stayed at Hilton and decided to extend my stay. They said sure, took my card and charged me THE SAME RATE for the extra day.

Guess who gets my business from now on … and who should have gotten it in the first place?



Cuntzilla

November 25th, 2015, 9:13 AM by Goddess

Well, I think the duck-kicking bitch won this round. My old duck who hung around is now gone. If I know her, she probably kicked him and sicced her ugly beasts on him and did him in.

I guess all neighbors have to be shitheads. The Hyatt family down in Plantation does a massive Christmas light show every year. And the city is closing down the roads to the house and making people park and walk a mile if they want to see it.

On top of that, they are fining the family $250 a day.

Their house is the only sign of Christmas south of Orlando. They ask you to donate to food banks and the Humane Society and children’s charities, if you’re so inclined to show your appreciation.

My mom can’t walk 10 steps without wincing in pain. No way we can attend this year.

It’s people like the Hyatts who make life wonderful, and people like Cuntzilla the Duck-Kicking Bitch and probably just one or two grinches in Plantation who ruin it for everybody.

I will just be over here writing reports if anyone needs me. And watching out my window for a duck-kicking cunt who needs her ass beaten …