Is it T plus six days or T minus 25 now?

November 6th, 2015, 7:44 AM by Goddess

Either way, my lullaby was rolling oil drums over my head. 

Mom got a rude awakening to screaming a half-hour before I did. 

Mine was hearing Thundercunt yell, “I will kick your ass!” And then she threw something to the floor that was heavy — I figure a dresser or a Fraggle — and she charged his loser ass. 

I worry with my mom so sick that she will die. With those fuck nuggets, my fear is that they won’t. 

And how pray tell would you respond?

November 4th, 2015, 8:31 PM by Goddess

Just got this from the landlord five minutes ago.  

Astounded doesn’t even begin to cover it. Especially after I got this from the HOA …


14 days

October 18th, 2015, 9:24 AM by Goddess

Thundercunt and Big Giant Pussy were arguing as usual this morning until he stopped, walked outside and asked where the ducks were.

Let me tell you about that.

Yesterday some yahoo in a golf cart filled with yucky blue solution went all around the pond and dumped that toxic shit into it.

One duck who was hanging out in the marsh dared to squawk in complaint. And that motherfucker beamed the spray right at her little beak and silenced her with a wave of chemicals.

I didn’t want to believe it was toxic. But we have a ball player here who takes two tennis balls to the lake every day with his dog. He clearly didn’t see the polluting of the lake like we did. So when he threw a ball to the water per usual and the dog stopped just shy of it and retreated, our fears were confirmed.

There is not a duck, turtle, iguana or bird to be found on the property today.

I couldn’t sleep last night. The silence (of the real animals, not the zoo animals upstairs) was killing me.

I know that the Bible says that no weapon formed against us will ever prosper. But they sure do seem to kill everything we love.

Today all the ugly dogs are running around off-leash, shitting with abandon where the ducks used to congregate all “City of Angels”-style.

Many times over the eight years that mom has lived in my house, I’ve told her no decorating outside. No welcome shit on the doors. No doormats. None. Personalize it inside all you want. Just … don’t invite people to steal our joy.

I thought she learned that lesson at Amityville, when we were told not to decorate our doors or balconies.

When people know it’s a happy home, they will do everything to target it with their own miserable little hearts.

It’s the same thing with being a happy person. I’ve endured more than my share of bullies and jerks who hate it that I can smile and sing under my breath no matter what’s happening.

But as I’ve said the last eight years, I can’t buoy us both. She’s so down and depressed by everything in her life plus the taking away of the little joys like enjoying nature.

I’ve been chirping away for 40-odd years that we have to speak favor into existence. Give thanks for our health and safety. Believe our God is bigger than the bullshit.

We are falling down on the job of believing that the rewards will be bigger because of the bullshit. I guess we’ve seen otherwise too many times.

I guess if I have one prayer today, it’s that the ducks could somehow understand our own safety was in jeopardy for feeding them. I pray that they found other sources of food and other, safer places to congregate before they were poisoned.

I remember feeding the neighborhood kitties and getting in trouble for that. Then Animal Control took them all away and exterminated them.

Mom and I love the unloved. And they are all taken away from us.

She said we just shouldn’t love anymore.

I know I should fight it and say no, we will keep on spreading joy wherever we can.

But I’m tired of fighting and never winning.

I just wish the other people in this goddamned apartment building would stop fighting. But then again, they all seem to win. And none of them is on the side of goodness like we try to be.

Maybe if I start doing evil, I’ll start winning too.

Too bad I am not the slightest bit capable of it.

16 days

October 17th, 2015, 8:24 AM by Goddess

Was up all night. Between Thundercunt screaming and then the ducks quacking all night long, it was tough to sleep. 

I thought all night about feeding the ducks. But if I could hear them, so could the duck-kickers. 

And I thought long and hard about whether to reward their cute, soothing ducky sounds … Or risking being attacked by entitled bitches who probably terrorize everyone and everything they encounter. 

I don’t know how these nervy bitches haven’t reported or confronted Thundercunt. They must live in a different part of the building because everyone over here knows her deal. 

Speaking of, crackheads just woke up. That bitch best be packing and getting her nasty ass outta here. Because that 16 days might be dragging for me but it should be flying for her. 

17 days

October 16th, 2015, 8:53 AM by Goddess

I’m probably going to stop this countdown because Thundercunt is officially the least of my worries at that goddamned dump I call home.

I got brave early this morning and wanted to go feed the ducks.

Honestly, if you’ve seen “City of Angels” and you see the angels lined up on the beach at sunrise, this is exactly the scene at my house. Which was the one thing we loved about it.

So I walk out, look both ways … and see one of the bitches who reported me. With unleashed dogs. Right by the ducks.

I know I shouldn’t have reacted. But I threw my hands up in the air and probably dropped an F-bomb. Then I started walking really fast around our lake.

I kept looking over my shoulder, thinking the bitch would have gone inside since she never hauls her homely ass around the lake. Nope. Not today.

She followed me more than halfway around the lake. I kept looking back and she was hot on my heels.

At our gazebo, I saw a hot guy and he said hello. And I got brave.

I turned around and walked back the way I came from. I wasn’t gonna let this duck-kicking bitch stalk me.

She stopped me and snapped at me.

She said why do I keep looking back at her.

I said I always look back when I’m walking. I want to be safe.

She said she saw me throw up my hands and shoot her looks. I said your dogs are unleashed and I am afraid and I don’t have to hang around and be near them.

She said she’s never seen me before and I’m acting “all shady” toward her. I said, “What’s it to you?”

She said her dogs are friendly. I said “Great. And I’m shady. Good to know.”

And I walked away.

She walked around to the entrance I came out of. I saw her waiting and I beelined to another one and managed to get home without further incident.

I saw her texting someone — ostensibly her fat friend with the three big ugly dogs. And sure enough, the bitches joined up at my entrance that’s under my balcony. Unleashed dogs and all.

So someone needs to explain to me how the ducks deserve to be kicked and I deserve to be stalked/confronted/bullied for walking outside my front door. (And no, no duckies were fed because of this drama.)

But these bitches can let their dogs roam free.

The fat bitch’s new trick is to leash the dogs and then drop the leash to let them run at the ducks.

I know we are spending way too much time and sanity on this. But no one stood up for my great-grandmother in the hospital. Or my grandmother. Or my grandfather. No one follows through on any promises to help me help my mom.

So that I want to advocate for a handful of beautiful, kind, sweet and quiet little creatures having some food … I am the target of a witch hunt?!?!

I’m going to go out there every day with my big purse and pretend I’m doing something shady. Seriously. I got exercise and she got angry. Which seems like a pretty OK outcome to me.

I just hope she doesn’t sic those ugly mongrels on Mom. She knows where I live and I don’t know where to find her. Which is a very unfair advantage she has.

But here’s to hoping that life, in all its inherent unfairness, evens things out on this one.