Spooks of Xmas Past

December 20th, 2017, 5:14 AM by Goddess

There’s a name I just can’t get away from.

Lisa VanderPump.

I swear to holy god, I do not get how someone can be so … forgettable … yet people will cater to them just because they call.

I got word that I am supposed to give this person something. After last week, I voluntarily gave them something else because I felt like helping the friend-of-a-friend they dispatched to get it from me.

And it seems like LVP isn’t exactly thrilled that I’m not homeless at this time.

Man. Some people fall in shit and come out smelling like roses, and they still can’t be halfway happy for anyone else.

I’m going to fight this latest injustice. I’ll probably lose. God knows I lose most battles these days. But I am so very tired of hearing LVP’s name in association with getting things that meant the world to me, and getting them for doing absolutely nothing in return.

Thanks for the blackball, Jack. Next stop: blue balls.


December 17th, 2017, 11:42 AM by Goddess

Despite knowing your industry, knowing everyone in it AND being remarkably capable at your corner of it, folks will still listen to unimpressive cads who suggest you’re not the right fit for new opportunities to do, be and know more in it.

Look. I’m not going to bang on doors that aren’t meant to open. But a lousy reference says more about the person giving it — and the person who heeds it — than the person who doesn’t get a chance to defend him or herself.

Hope he chokes on that bread

December 13th, 2017, 8:03 PM by Goddess

Made the mistake of walking into a store to buy Momma some bread last night.

Went through the entire display (it was Big Lots. Shit be janky) to get the perfect one.

Walked straight to the register. No one was in line.

Well, one guy THOUGHT he was in line.

He said, “Excuse me. EXCUSE ME. I SAID EXCUSE ME.”

I turned around and saw a big dumb doofus with a cart filled to the brim with crap. I looked at him quizzically because I walked FREE AND CLEAR to the register. I figured maybe he was trying to flirt or joke or whatever it is I deal with when I am not in the mood to talk.

He said, “You cut in line.” Like it was recess and we were 8.

Honestly I still thought maybe he was joking. And he commanded me to get behind him.

I was stunned for a second and waved him FORWARD. You know, INTO MY SPOT.

I thought, maybe he’s a little special? I mean WHO THE FUCK would cut in front of a girl … who’s already at the register … WITH ONE ITEM?

And it only took me a split second of looking at this tall twit’s basket to say, “Let me guess. You MUST be single.”

Then I threw the stupid bread at him and motherfucked his very existence the whole way out.

I’m proud that the “Probably voted for Trump” was the SECOND thought out of my mouth. Clearly that makes me even more of the adult in this situation!

Somebody else’s problem now

December 7th, 2017, 9:42 PM by Goddess

There’s a guy I write about here from time to time. Nicest guy ever. Also not the brightest.

I’ve probably referred to him as “soccer ball to the skull” more times than not. Dreaming out loud, sort of a modern-day Lucy to the good grief his Charlie Brown-ness creates in my life.

So, we’re all hitting the street, yes? He told me he had two great interviews. I gave him the DL on both, and when he said the one he really wanted, I immediately called my executive friend over there and raved.

Not only that, but I called a friend who knows the guy he interviewed with. And HE raved too.

Look, I did it to spread good karma. Not for any other reason. But …

I can’t help being hurt that he told everyone ELSE about getting … and accepting … an offer. An offer that I am pretty sure having two strong references helped him to get.

He’ll make more money, too. You’re welcome.

He got the offer around the same time a project I sent over got completely fucked up. Completely. His great talent is asking 1,000 questions and yet not reading/listening to most of the answers.

I’d normally have a shit fit. But hey, I get that both feet are out the door now. I say we push the rest out before I try to shoot a goal at his tonsils.

The way I think of it, I just made him someone else’s problem. Maybe he’ll excel. He’s never going to do that where he is now. Never had to. Never planned to.

My real fear? I don’t want to turn out average and checked-out like him. I’m afraid that’s my path if I don’t find a fork in the road that actually whets my appetite rather than ruins it at every turn.


November 27th, 2017, 9:09 PM by Goddess

I manage to piss off two people today.

One by saying I don’t talk to my ex-BFF anymore because she voted for Trump. (Which, that was just the final straw. And there was a whole box of straws.) I am guessing the one person who recoiled voted for the asshole.

Another by saying anyone who watches Fox News is a Trump-loving nitwit and that’s the main source of fake news in this world. I know this person is a Trump lover and so is his wife. And one day, I hope she can tell me in very small words someday why women who don’t work hate Hillary so much.

In any event, there may be a third person I hurt somehow and I didn’t mean to if it was in fact my stupid ass fault.

There’s a lot of shit going on right now. Obviously the work is drying up and we’ll all be out panhandling soon enough. But there’s a lot more that I am keeping to myself. Like, my friends who got the boot a lot sooner are dying for the gossip, yet I don’t reach out and touch anyone about it. And I dodge when they do inquire.

I was even telling a friend today, I hear news and retreat to my corner. Then I watch my phone and wait for the texts to roll in. Someone gets fired, give it two hours till an old friend knows and lets ME know. The assets get sold, I guarantee one of my West Coast friends will know before someone down the hall can walk to my desk to fill me in.

There’s another friend I don’t gossip with. At all. But in conversation, I earnestly said hey you might be able to get something useful out of this event, if the stars align. Sit tight and wait.

I trust said person will behave. But I’m not sure if they did here. Because everyone stopped bailing water out of the boat and started rearranging their deck chairs about this particular topic. Because, of all the information spreading around the continent like wildfire, THIS is what concerns them.

The problem is someone got in trouble over it. I don’t *think* it’s my “fault,” as if something so dumb should be assigned any fault. But either way, no matter whose flap was yapping, folks really need to find their zen.

In any event, politics was the theme of the day. If I had the choice to eliminate the kind that runs our country or the kind that ruins our workplace first, I honestly don’t know which I’d pick. I hate me some Trump (obvs) but damn. This stupid shit is less pervasive but so much more personal.

Anyway. Tomorrow I’m not speaking to anyone. I feel like I regret it every single time. I only try to help all parties (and it would in fact help all parties), and it only ends up in a flaming ball of poo.