Caterwauling

It’s yet another “woke up screaming, realized it wasn’t a dream, and kept on screaming” kind of day.

God didn’t put me on this earth to be miserable. And yet, everyone who meant anything to me is either with Him or too far away for me to hug.

But there are plenty of assholes still mouth-breathing their way through this earth. I saw this firsthand yesterday when a particularly loathsome twat from high school showed up in my list of friend suggestions on Facebook.

Now, I’m grateful for Facebook for putting me in touch with all the “good” people — the ones I liked and respected and even found that I missed. I’m glad to see how they turned out, and I wish them all the happiness in the world.

Then I see a rotting twat like (name removed) showing up with a husband and kids and, basically, she didn’t die in a crack den like she SO rightfully deserved, and I ask the universe, “Where is the justice?”

I mean, how can this miserable asshole, who is responsible for years of torture on my part, be allowed to have a good life? Meanwhile I work my ass off, everyone I love is gone and I’m struggling just to pay the bills right now. Fuck that. Fuck HER.

I know I can’t judge whether she’s happy. But the fact that some pimp didn’t smack her into 2012 irks me. That she looks normal and happy and that life has treated her well. Nuh uh. Forget that shit. She doesn’t deserve it.

I know we all do things in life we regret, and maybe she regrets the things she did to me. I doubt she has enough brain cells in her widdle noggin to achieve that sort of realization, though. I vaguely remember the boys thinking she was pretty. I remember her grating voice, her very loud mouth, and the ugly, ugly facial expressions on her puss as she was being such a royal cunt that I couldn’t fathom why anyone would want to see/hear her when they could put their face into a meat grinder for a more pleasant experience.

It’s the people like her who made me so driven to get the fuck out of where I grew up. I might be miserable most of the time now, but so many people tell me I’m living the life they wanted, so maybe all is not lost after all.

But what I wouldn’t trade for a husband, maybe a kid, a little freelance job to keep me busy during Junior’s naptimes, and the weight of the world to come off of me already.

I’m sure Rotten Twat’s dumb ass can’t form a thought, let alone have the stamina to live my life. I don’t want to be her .. ugly from the inside-out. And even though an apology would mean nothing to me from the likes of her, I’m just looking toward the universe to wonder why the hurt and disappointment avalanche is always barreling toward me while others who DO NOT DESERVE SHIT seem to be ambling along OK.

Anyway.

She had a partner in crime of course. By the fact that THAT twat nozzle hasn’t surfaced anywhere keeps my dream alive that she became the crack ho she was destined to be.

And don’t get me started on the cunt whose future hopefully involved a mental institution.

God, it’s funny how far you can go in life, and how one ugly face can unleash a repressed flood of memories. I never cared what this miserable wretch thought or said about me, or even why she did the things she did to me. I wasn’t looking to live down to her standards.

But when all was said and done, I guess I thought my suffering would end at some point, and the happiness would eventually start. I mean, really, haven’t I been through enough?

Looks like I left Rockville, Md., just in time. …

“Kate Gosselin Moving To Maryland”

There goes The Palladian. From what I remember, they didn’t have enough bedrooms to house a litter. I presume the kids aren’t coming with?

So I only got about two solid hours of sleep last night, as I was dozing in front of CNN for the better part of the night last night. And it was downright amazing, to wake up and realize, holy shit, Barack Obama won! He’s our president-elect! It wasn’t just a dream!

Of course, it made for a looong workday, as I was tired as all get-out. But it was worth it — sooo worth it.

I found myself having to log out of Facebook today. I’ve had people friending me from high school — people I barely talked to then and don’t have much to say to these days — but interestingly, they’ve been de-friending me left and right, every time I posted a pro-my-guy’s-policies status update or an anti-the-other-guy’s-policies article.

Meh, whatever. I saw their Republican rhetoric and never felt the need to go, “Oooh, no, pwease shield my virgin eyes!”

And then it dawned on me today: We grew up in “Picksburgh.” In a city in which our fathers, uncles and grandfathers — blue-collar workers — were laid off from the steel mills. We were in the generation in which we might not have understood what was going on, but we saw our male providers being laid off by the thousands and we got our asses kicked around by the alcoholics that many of them became. We got food stamps and government cheese until the handouts ran out.

In other words: How can you NOT support the candidates who favor social programs, assistance for the out-of-work, tax cuts for those who need it most, and change in general?

In my words: “When did the Class of 1992 turn into right-wing nutjobs?”

I mean, Christ, I’ve been posting “I’m voting for Obama” messages and some of them had the audacity to e-mail me to remind me to vote for McCain. Hunh? I don’t expect anyone’s paying THAT close of attention to lil old me. But come on. When I sent my pro-’Bama propaganda to friends (you know, the kind I know in person and who welcome communication from me), I made SURE that I knew my recipients’ voting status or else I didn’t share.

Now, I logged out of F-book instead of getting worked up in a lather. I don’t crap in people’s comments. It’s a free country and I am immensely RELIEVED it’s going to stay that way for the next four years. But … I honestly, remembering what I remember of these people, cannot figure out why they would vote Republican.

I knew their families. Maybe not their political leanings, but at least their — ah, shall we say, humble — upbringing … exactly like my own. I don’t want to call anybody a racist, but given the area where we grew up, it wouldn’t surprise me.

I am tickled pink that Pennsylvania was as blue as it was. I admit, I was worried about Pennsyltucky and maybe even Allegheny County. Just because it was an ethnically diverse area when I was growing up didn’t mean there weren’t some lumps in the melting pot.

The comment, though, that burned my butter was from someone who, upon hearing Obama won, wrote that “Oh, think of all those POOR BABIES who will never get a chance to LIVE because they will be MURDERED BY ABORTION NOW.”

Said she who had four of them before age 30. I’m not being judgmental — she was lucky enough to get married and have a family, and good for her. But what she and the rest of right-wing evangelical America does NOT comprehend is that the No. 1 reason for abortion? IS ECONOMICS.

There was a really poignant moment during one of the presidential debates in which John McCain was railing against Obama as being “pro-abortion,” and Obama paused and said calmly, plainly, “John, no one is pro-abortion.”

I’m fairly sure the gal who is so afraid Obama is going to be single-handedly performing vacuum aspirations is also a social worker. Which, um, I spent two years in social work. I assure you, given the conditions those kids were existing in, it definitely makes you believe quite strongly in having options available for everyone who needs them.

You know, part of my vote for Obama was in knowing that he’s going to focus on the here and now — the economy, for starters — and not be fucking around with constitutional amendments and such. I mean, here’s a conundrum: Republicans want smaller government, right? Less regulation, yes? More individual liberties and decision-making, yo? Then why oh WHY is that party so hell-bent on telling women what they cannot do with their bodies?

And that’s what worried me about Sarah Palin. That she’d be spinning around in Dick Cheney’s old office after trying on all her expensive clothes and shoes that she would keep in his human-sized safe, and decide her pet project would be overturning Roe v. Wade, or something else that has NOTHING TO DO WITH THE IMMEDIATE ISSUES AT HAND.

We all want change. We all want change we can believe in. But we also want change that is needed to make our world a better one in which to live.

And what I loved as I was half-snoozing while Obama gave his speech after midnight last night, was that he talked right to those who didn’t vote for him. To say that he’s their president, too, and he’s working just as much for them.

He wasn’t my candidate originally. But he reached out and found a way to talk to me in a way that I would listen. Now if he can just the rest of the nation to unplug their ears for a little while, he can get down to the business of governing in a way we need and DESERVE.

And God willing, in four years we’ll look back and say, damn, election night wasn’t the ONLY time that man made history in this country. Hopefully, my former high school friends and everyone else like them who are licking their wounds and crying foul will be saying the same thing. …

… Remember, kids, if McCain is the one who gets to pick the next set of Supreme Court justices and he lives up to his promise to overturn Roe v. Wade, stupid people will continue procreating at a rapid rate.

Have you heard about the fucking moronic teen girls in the pregnancy pact? I think vacuum aspiration should be mandatory for those stupid bitches. Save the clothes hanger for beating them with it.

Some of the girls reacted to the news they were pregnant with high fives and plans for baby showers, (Principal Joseph) Sullivan said. One of the fathers “is a 24-year-old homeless guy,” Sullivan told the magazine.

Mind *boggles.*

Sidenote: Those brats had better not be getting baby showers. Just saying. We celebrate idiocy enough in this world enough, thanks.

Anyway, I know any dumb fertile asshole can become a parent, but let’s not prove the same is true of the U.S. presidency, mmkay? I still haven’t gotten into the “vote Obama” groove, but I sure as hell am steady on “for the love of God, don’t vote McCain.”