Caterwauling

I know, it’s a time to look forward. And, tomorrow, I will resume that. But I saw this 2009-roundup meme at Lachlan’s and just couldn’t pass up having a blog entry that writes itself!

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Went to the beach. And got a tan. Seriously, first time in 35 years for both!

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
No resolutions other than to leave the bullshit behind me where it belongs. I’d like to finally have a bullshit-free year

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Yeah, right before I met her.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My Maddie. I still can’t believe she’s gone.

5. What countries did you visit?
Never set foot outside the ol’ U. S. of A.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
The balls to call “bullshit” the second I saw/smelled it. A graceful way to put people in their place other than smiling through the insults. Disposable income would be nice. too.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
Aug. 1 when Maddie died. Dec. 4 for reasons best left untyped. Dec. 8 when hope landed square on my doorstep. Dec. 25 because I made my first real friends in Florida and spent the day with them.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
My arrest record remains spotless. It’s been about a year since I got a speeding ticket, too. *knock on wood*

9. What was your biggest failure?
Going off my diet. I could have been a stick figure by now. The failure, really, was letting life get to me so much that I let my joy and my health fall off the “to-do” list.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Two (back) teeth broke out of my head. Awesome. I was too busy to get it taken care of when it happened, and just haven’t gotten around to seeing what I can do about it now.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
I’d say Mom’s apartment, even though it’s a lease and the money I spend keeping her alive and away from me isn’t really worth the financial panic in the end.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
*looks around* Uh …

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Hoo boy, Santa’s got a naughty list a mile long. I got really disgusted and disillusioned this year. It’s been a while since I was so utterly turned against someone, but it definitely happened. Repeatedly.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Building a new life. Not shoveling (or even seeing) snow. Wearing jeans and flip-flops every day of my life. I’m very excited about something right now, actually, but it’s too nascent to reveal just yet.

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
“Florida,” by Patty Griffin.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Sadder
b) thinner or fatter? The same
c) richer or poorer? Poorer

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Daydreaming, drinking, dating, beaching, bonding and being in touch with my far-away friends.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Talking. Trusting. Hiding from the world because I didn’t want anyone to really know what was going on, because the people who love me would have seen right through me, had I answered their calls or reached out to them when I really needed them most.

20. How did you spend Christmas?
With friends.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
Fell out.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
“Grey’s Anatomy.”

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I would never stoop so low as to hate anyone, but I moved one or two to the “regard with contempt” status.

24. What was the best book you read?
I don’t remember the name, but it was some hippie, new-agey crap aimed at putting yourself in the right frame of mind to receive goodness.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Joshua Radin.

26. What did you want and get?
A new computer. My first brand-new one. (A shiny iMac.)

27. What did you want and not get?
Peace of mind. Financial security.

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
Haven’t been to any movies in ages.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Turned 35 on Memorial Day. Spent the morning at a gorgeous Kimpton Hotel on the water in Vero Beach. But something went wrong with my broadcasting system and content management system, so I spent the whole f’in morning fighting with them. I had a nice stay there otherwise; just wish I had the (holi)day off.

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Mom getting a job, making money and doing SOMETHING to offset the rent/bills. Me finding a man under age 70. Hell, MOM finding a man — that’s my fondest wish.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
My fashion sense declined. I’m all about tank tops, jeans and flip-flops now. I couldn’t pull together a dressy outfit anymore if I tried.

32. What kept you sane?
Wellbutrin, Klonopin, pinot noir, ocean views, church.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Jon Bon Jovi.

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
The continued assault on reproductive rights. We won. You lost. Live with it.

35. Who did you miss?
My D.C. family — the “urban tribe.” Someone offered to pay for my way back. Which I didn’t consider at first but, hey, why not think about it? Once winter is over, of course.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
B.C., and it took me 10 months to meet this person.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
Just because you put a ton of thought into a decision, doesn’t mean it’s a good one. It’s those gut feelings and impulse moves that define you best. I’m letting my (beer) gut lead me this year … and I bet I’ll be a thousand times happier than I am now. Just wait and see!

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

“Just about a year ago,
I set out on the road,
Seeking my fame and fortune,
Looking for a pot of gold.
Things got bad, and things got worse,
I guess you will know the tune.
Oh ! Lord, Stuck in Lodi again.

“Rode in on the Greyhound,
I’ll be walking out if I go.
I was just passing through,
Must be seven months or more.
Ran out of time and money,
Looks like they took my friends.
Oh ! Lord, I’m stuck in Lodi again.”

Saw this at Ian’s. It’s been a long time since I cracked a genuine smile about anything…

Please to be using this one instead. Kthxbai.

Since I only managed to blog a whopping eight times in October, I’m kicking my own ass and once again signing up for NaBloPoMo this November. Which means I will have ONE MORE THING on my to-do list that I will feel guilty about not getting to. (Sure beats starting YET ANOTHER NOVEL and abandoning that, too.)

Oh well. I wear my badge with pride:

And this counts as a post, yes? Woo hoo!

Why yes, I do write things on my to-do list after I’ve already achieved them. Why do you ask?

My friends keep asking me when I’m going to post a new blog. I try to tell them that I don’t have anything to say, which they don’t believe for one minute. But then I say, “What I have to say would get my ass double-Dooced,” and they totally get it. Well, those who understand what the term means and all.

I actually heard that term at BlogHer D.C. on Monday. Which, OMG ugh. Can you imagine?

Speaking of OMG, let me give you my highlights from the conference:

1. Spending the day with Tiff. Which, yay! Although I was bummed that The Funky Feline couldn’t come out and play. I did Tweet to her that she wasn’t missing much.

2. Lunch. Nom nom nom. Healthy and tasty veggie-type stuff and fish with a curry sauce.

3. Afternoon break, with chocolate-covered apple slices and a soft chocolate chip cookie. Blew my diet for the first time on that cookie and holy shit, it was worth it! I still lost 2.5 pounds this week, so chocolate apparently does a body good. (And, sidenote to Tiff, diets may do a body good but his girlfriend will always be a ‘ho, no matter how much milk or whatever else she drinks!)

4. Cool-ass swag. Seriously. The sponsors were awesome.

5. The cocktail reception. I skipped the wine (I just heard about 35 of you hit the floor as you passed out!) but enjoyed the butternut squash soup, the crabmeat mac and cheese, and the mini quiches. *drool*

Mad, mad props to the Bethesda Hyatt for preparing food that was fit for a queen but that doesn’t push you into queen size.

As far as the conference itself, meh. There were some fascinating attendees. The speakers were OK mostly; I was sort of hoping to learn the finer points of creating an online experience for readers as opposed to “This is a blog. This is a blog platform. This is a feed-reader.”

One session in which I spent a whopping five minutes did me in for the day. The Internet wasn’t working and the panelists said they’d take questions in the interim. First question? “How do I find blogs to read that I might like?”

*thunk*

Um, other than the fact that you should start at, oh, BlogHer.com since it hosts 30,000 of us, is this what I paid $100 to learn? Jesus Christ.

Out of my mouth, very audibly and yes, very inappropriately, came “Are you fucking KIDDING me?” At which point I left and joined the Geek Lab and talked to others who already knew how to locate their asses with both hands.

I was rather entertained by the fact that the lunch speaker — a Yahoo! employee — mentioned several of Google’s tools for analytics and such. Blasphemy! Isn’t that illegal, to nod to the competition (even if it’s not even a close competition)?

What really surprised me was how many people peered at my name tag (with my real name) and said, “Oh my God — you’re Goddess!” Or the sponsors who saw my name tag and said, “I’ve checked out your blog — you’re the one who fell off the toilet!”

Oy.

Oh well. Beat being at work. There’s a reason why my vacation bank’s cup runneth over. (Well, accrual has halted until I start using my days, so no overflow there.) Chaos reigned while I was gone, and being away for a day was the equivalent of taking off a full week.

I canceled my planned vacation day for this coming Friday because of the insanity. Hope my friends enjoy having one less person at the cabin down in Shenandoah. My sanity is too precious to risk it (further) at this juncture.

That’s OK, though. There is a silver lining in all of this. Of course it has nothing to do with work, but let’s just say I’m working for the weekend, literally … it’s just in six weeks from now.

Lawd give me strength in the interim. …