Caterwauling

Palm Beach sunset

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

I’m sure we’re all familiar with sexual frustration. Hell, even a couple hours after I’ve gotten some, I’ve got that craving for more.

And by “hours,” I mean “seconds or minutes.”

Today I’m intellectually frustrated. I almost typed “intellectually challenged,” but that has a ‘whole ‘nother meaning and I can apply it to a lot of people but I don’t think I qualify for that particular modifier.

Speaking of using one’s noodle, I’m writing a book in my head. I just hope my brain hasn’t atrophied by the time I get around to putting the words into a computer. It’s kind of an “Island of Misfit Toys” meets “Children of the Corn” story.

Any horror writers who can help a girl out? Well, horror, non-fiction, biographical, autobiographical writers … whatever.

Have you ever been in a situation when you could put someone’s mind at ease by simply revealing the details that they seek — and showing them that what’s happening in your mind, heart and life honestly has nothing to do with them but is something else entirely that’s very private and personal — but the very fact that it’s something so deeply personal is why you’re not ready (if you ever will be) to share?

“We’re caught in a trap
I can’t walk out
Because I love you too much baby

Why can’t you see
What you’re doing to me
When you don’t believe a word I say?

We can’t go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can’t build our dreams
On suspicious minds

So, if an old friend I know
Drops by to say hello
Would I still see suspicion in your eyes?

Here we go again
Asking where I’ve been
You can’t see these tears are real
I’m crying

We can’t go on together
With suspicious minds
And be can’t build our dreams
On suspicious minds

Oh let our love survive
Or dry the tears from your eyes
Let’s don’t let a good thing die

When honey, you know
I’ve never lied to you
Mmm yeah, yeah.”

– Elvis Presley, “Suspicious Minds”

Canopy Lights on Clematis Street

Originally uploaded by dcwriterdawn

“I should know
Who I am by now
I walk
The record stands somehow
Thinking of winter

Your name is the splinter inside me
While I wait

And I remember the sound
Of your November downtown
And I remember the truth
A warm December with you
But I don’t have to make this mistake
And I don’t have to stay this way.”

– Joshua Radin, “Winter”

Warmest December I’ve ever experienced. Or, rather, endured, ’cause it’s friggin’ hot in this apartment and I have two hours’ worth of work still to do while I bake. (And not baking cookies. Just, baking in my own skin.)

And, why yes, I’m posting song lyrics to keep from posting other things. How did you guess? I’ve never done THAT before!

I have a Pandora’s box of PostSecret-type outbursts waiting to happen. Problem is, this author isn’t anonymous, so the messages have to be.

Things like:

1. I haven’t hugged you since 1996 and, yet, the moment you post a song to Facebook, I HAVE to download it because it’s the only way I can be close to you.

2. I didn’t answer your e-mail on purpose. I know you’re going to be in my area. And I’m just crazy enough to come and find you after … what is it … seven years? Think your wife would mind?

3. Thanks … I think.

4. Why not just stick your dick directly in my ear and take the mind-fucking to the next level? Or someone else’s cock — I don’t care. I suspect yours wouldn’t reach my eardrum.

5. I’d ask why you didn’t tell me, but we both know why. I wish you well. I really do. I think that much of you. Always have, always will.

That’s it for today, kids. Back to work for me.

Gemini horoscope, from Astrocenter.com:

“About a week ago, you may have received some bad news concerning your finances, Goddess. This is probably the best day you could ask for out of the whole month to deal with these problems. If you want to come out of this situation as a winner, it may be necessary to approach things from a different angle than you usually would. But rest assured! Things will probably work out just fine!”

Got mah drugs today. Only tried one of the ’scripts so far. Either it kicked right in (unlikely) or I’m just in a good mood naturally, because I’m doing OK today.

Actually, that’s more of an external factor, as a friend just arrived in town (the fifth this summer, although only the second with whom I can actually find time to get together). I’m over-the-top thrilled that I will actually be able to see her!

Two out of five. Actual encounters versus opportunities. What a winning record. What am I, the Phillies?

(Philadelphia is now on my list of cities to root against. Unless they are playing Texas or New England.)

Anyway, as I dropped off my prescriptions this morning, the pharmacist called my doctor’s office to verify one of the meds. I only half-overheard, as I saw Halloween candy was 75% off and I scored a big bag of Reese’s for less than two bucks.

But I could SWEAR she was verifying a dosage she thought was high. What, did she think I upped that dosage on my own?

Now excuse me while I wash it all down with a bottle of wine.