You don’t get what you deserve. You get what you demand

March 20th, 2017, 12:58 PM by Goddess

Missed an opportunity to speak up.

I recognized it. I told myself not to miss it. And then I clammed up.

Thought about a wonderful lunch I had with an old D.C. friend yesterday. God how nice to connect with someone from the same background (District denizen, publishing, intellectual, political, Florida transplant).

We spoke of how publishing is dead. He’s since left the biz because he demanded more and wasn’t getting it where he wanted it from. So he got it (money) somewhere else.

I said I didn’t think I could fall out of love with it. And that’s fine. But that doesn’t mean it will stay in love with me.

If ever it even was. Especially when I demand nothing from it because it supposedly has so little left to give right now.



Happy fambly

March 13th, 2017, 2:28 PM by Goddess

I suggested a hire and we hired that person and OMG dream team.

Yes, I know. The giant meteor is on its way. But allow me to enjoy this rare moment in time of having a complete team that rocks.

Thank you, universe.

I’ll duck now …



Four hours

February 21st, 2017, 10:26 AM by Goddess

Got to talking with a friend last week about “laying it all on the table.” Like, when you’ve left a relationship or job or friendship or other commitment, what will you have wish you’d given that you didn’t?

So yesterday, that translated into “four hours.” I worked for four hours and Mom cleaned the office. It feels like a completely different place. I took out four massive bags of trash that contained months worth of onions and god knows what. I haven’t yet sat on the cleaned-three-times toilet but I honestly cannot wait. Truly, it’s the little things.

So that, that’s what I wanted. Not going to claim I can die happy now or be escorted to the curb feeling like I achieved world peace. But the scent of newly mopped floors is quite stimulating for the brain, so I’m going to enjoy it.



Added to my daily gratitude list …

February 14th, 2017, 9:39 AM by Goddess

1. That Cinderella got out of the castle yesterday (although that particular pumpkin almost got squashed by a stepsister who clearly doesn’t want the chimney unmanned).

2. That Cinderella spent half the night sweeping the damn chimney and thank God because that stepsister wants a whole bunch of time today rather than letting Cinderelly get back to the new chores that have since piled up.



Type-dancing

February 12th, 2017, 7:58 PM by Goddess

I accepted a friend request I probably shouldn’t have.

The timing of its arrival was odd, since I broke up with him on a Valentine’s Day 20-some years ago.

Most years, I blame my lack of good Valentine’s Days on that unfortunately timed breakup. Which was accelerated by my being stuck at work till near-midnight and me not having anything resembling restraint toward this guy who nicely changed the dinner reservation THREE TIMES so he could take me out when I was finally free.

But being back in contact has brought it all back, why separate ways were the only ways.

I worry about decisions before I make them. And by worry, I mean agonize. So that when I make them, I am good. No regrets. So I have never thought about it since. Until now.

I got to thinking about why the universe brought us together in the first place. What lesson was I to learn, other than that I really don’t like to date men all that much? (I get that it’s “certain men.” Or ones with master’s degrees from my alma mater. Or anyone else who has stolen my air from the room. Which is all of them.)

It got me to thinking about a friend who says he has a type. Skinny, exotic-looking chicks are his thing.

But what’s my type?

This guy was probably a good example. Tall — over 6 feet. Sagittarius, give or take a few days. Dark hair. Democrat all the damn way. (And Dems do it better. I have irrefutable proof.) And apparently men who get their undergrad at the same school because I would go on to meet THAT person a couple years later.

And THAT person? Ruined me for the rest. I mean, not on purpose. But I know to beware tall, dark and handsome Democrats who spent four years in Morgantown, W.Va.

I got to thinking about types when it came to people to hire. You know, with suitors right at your door and you’re like, hmm, never went out with this kind. I could experiment or I can go back to what I know “works.”

Wish I had a few more princes to pick from. I’m sure my type is out there somewhere. And he’ll take my breath away, like the others did.

And maybe there’s happiness to be found with more of an archetype, as it were, than a type. (I know they aren’t antonyms. But I feel like I have to say it because America’s IQ is dropping and I’m afraid Cheeto Benito will have all the dictionaries and literature burned. Then us pink-hatted witches are next.)

In any event, I am getting the idea I am going to be alone for a while longer during the day and unfortunately the night. But I’d be lying if I said I minded all the space, glorious space. And that unquestionably started 20 years ago when I wanted (and eventually, after multiple tries, got) my freedom … and only once wanted to let it go.

As we all know, that didn’t stick.

And if anything were truly meant to be, I think the massive amount of space between me and everyone else is it.