The last worthless evening

July 3rd, 2014, 6:13 AM by Goddess

Everybody’s working for the weekend.

I”m working on the weekend.

The holiday weekend.

Again.

Funny thing is, I used to have some help and I can’t say I’ve been any less inundated since I stopped having it.

Good thing is, help arrives Monday.

So the body count can remain at zero for yet another “holiday” weekend where the rest of the company cheerfully e-mails that we can either A) leave early if our work is done (hah) or B) hold our breath waiting for people to come back from vacation to take care of things I needed them to take care of while they were off enjoying a week off.

Of course, I’d rather hear folks were on vacation than just siting in their office, refusing to do what I ask without my boss’ permission. Ain’t nobody got time for that, least of all me.

In case that wasn’t obvious.



Bookmarking for later reference

June 28th, 2014, 11:21 AM by Goddess

D.C. ranks third in employee satisfaction.

Here’s how D.C.’s top companies are re-imagining the office.

And here are the best workplace perks, within that group.



He said yes! Or … it’s a boy!

June 26th, 2014, 3:50 PM by Goddess

In either case, I extended an offer for one of my candidates to become my protege and he said yes.

Well, he said yes after asking for more money.

What is it with kids today, who have no relevant experience whatsoever, asking for more than what they put on paper was their asking price?

I think it’s a male thing. Had I gone with the female candidate, I bet she would have been just like me and not willing to push the proverbial cash-filled envelope.

I really liked the female candidate. Trouble was, she *is* me at 26. Like, the Same. Damn. Person. A little loud, a little funky, a little (perhaps too) bold.

God I hope she never changes.

I’m happy with the way things have turned out. Now maybe I can do some damn work instead of interviewing people and grading writing and editing tests.

Oh, who am I kidding. I’m in for a solid year of downloading my brain into my bouncing baby boy’s noggin.

And I am totally OK with that.



Signs, signs, everywhere there’s signs

June 25th, 2014, 7:06 AM by Goddess

Gather boys and girls as I tell you about a tale of three candidates in second-round interviews, and my two personal disasters associated with each and how I will likely hire based on them.

Candidate #1: During that meeting, the hem fell out of my favorite dress.

Candidate #2: No drama whatsoever. Like, none. At all. What. So. Ever.

Candidate #3: The temporary crown popped off its post and I had to work it back into place in front of this candidate and my boss without opening my mouth lest said toof might shoot out and offend.

“Signs, signs, everywhere there’s signs.” That’s all I gotta say.

And long-haired freaky people, feel free to apply. Even if I’m deep-down a fan of the clean-cut, polished and gracious types who hold my chair for me and seem amenable to goddess-worship.



How to Burn 75 Calories Dodging One Meeting Reminder

June 24th, 2014, 7:13 AM by Goddess

Just as I’ve been drafting up my own Evil Plan for taking the office from being a place that’s killing us to one that might actually keep us alive long enough to kill us later …

We get a note from HR that they are implementing a Wellness program. They want to know what sorts of classes we would benefit from.

Assuming that means we get to take a lunch hour (ahem) to attend them, I propose:

  • How to Burn 75 Calories Dodging One Meeting Reminder
  • How to Drink Just Enough to Tolerate People Without Them Being Able to Tell You’re Drunk
  • Hands-Free Orgasms at Your Desk (or Anywhere!)
  • 5 Inexpensive Ways to Buy Back Your Soul from the Devil After a Conference Call Ends Early
  • 3 Easy Strategies to Fake Your Death (or Accelerate Someone Else’s) and Still Get a Paycheck Without Prison Time