Hello old friend, Fear

July 18th, 2015, 10:00 AM by Goddess

A recruiter started calling all my friends in the industry a few weeks ago.  They said they were hiring for (my position) at (my company).

My good friend called me in a panic. And I now call him my good friend because he was terrified I had gotten the boot and he wanted to make sure I was ok. 

I’m ok. It’s a newly created position not in my department. And my own official title is the same title I’ve had for 20 years that isn’t accurate given “other duties as assigned” IS my job. 

But it’s a sad commentary on my industry that so many of us who actually know what the fuck we are doing get exiled for no other reason than someone dislikes paying us what they decided to offer us. Not that it’s even anything to brag about, in most cases. But that’s another entry for never. 

I hate feeling so insecure. I mean it was good of my friend to think about me. And he probably would have found a way to throw me some work, if not hire me outright, in the junior position he has open. 

But thrilling as that sounds, it sucks to know that no matter how hard you work or how good you are at it, you’re disposable. Meanwhile the world’s dumbest and/or least productive never seem to be in jeopardy. 

Every company has two kinds of employees. The ones who do it all and the ones who watch them. And it kills my friends and me that being in the first category is something to worry about at all times. 

Repeat after me

July 17th, 2015, 8:32 AM by Goddess

Bad hires at a lower salary cost more than great hires at a higher salary.

Trust me, I have the battle scars to prove it.

We are talking about hiring again. And there’s a likely path we’re going down that I want nothing to do with. Everyone’s being supportive and nice about the idea to the one who broached it, but we’re all IMing each other with, “Oh Christ.”

Good luck telling that person they need to stay till 7 p.m. (with the rest of us). Good luck getting the results you want on the first try. And good luck keeping this person busy when four of us are cross-trained in their domain.

Don’t get me wrong. Nice person. And does good work and actually has a good brain in there. And can do the work more-artfully than the four of us combined.

But as I was told a long time ago, we aren’t after perfection. We want it done right AND we want it done Wednesday but we’d really love it by Tuesday COB if you can stay late that’d be greaaatttt ….

Not a fit. Just not a fit.

Meanwhile there are needs we have that the rest of us can’t cover/fake/learn in a big fat hurry.

Here’s to hoping the one who can execute the solution, sees the problem with this so-called “solution.” Because it’s a lot harder to get rid of bad fits than it is to find the right ones. And the latter is downright fucking impossible lately.


July 4th, 2015, 7:31 AM by Goddess

This week a problem I’ve had for a very long time suddenly went away.

One day, blinding aggravation and stress. The next day, I woke up NOT screaming for the first time in months.

If only all problems went away like that. Or, should I say, if they just STAY gone, everything will be OK.

You wonder why you go through these ordeals. Like, what was the lesson so you don’t have to repeat that shit and learn it next time?

I think I got some insight into an old boss. I mean I still think she was a jerk who was only concerned with hiring the cheapest talent possible (and then bitching about the lack of talent).

But let’s assume she was on top for a reason. And that she correctly could spot when certain people were moving the business forward and when others were holding it back.

In that case, I was definitely holding it back in her eyes. I was trying to restore the souls of broken employees. And maybe I did need to leave well enough alone in some cases.**

(**Like in the case of the one who refused to give me a reference after I lost my job trying to save theirs. And they wonder why I don’t talk to them. Or to the friend I genuinely miss who is up this person’s ass.)

But for the fact that some of the good ones did manage to stick around, I hope having me around — even if for a minute — might have done something to help.

I don’t expect her or anyone to spend a moment trying to figure out why I “happened” in their lives. And I don’t plan to spend another moment trying to figure out why the last year happened to me the way it did, either. I wasted enough waking hours on that.

I guess the lesson is it’s all about “fit.” And if it don’t fit, don’t force it. Because everyone ends up being out of a lot of money, patience and time in the end.

Stop tolerating. Start growing.

June 16th, 2015, 12:12 PM by Goddess

Whack-job neighbors must have gone away for the weekend. It was gloriously quiet till Sunday night.

I was hoping they got evicted or maybe the loudmouth bitch left the whiny asshole. But I hear their tiny terrors destroying the place. I suppose it’s only a matter of time before the shitshow makes another splash.

It occurs to me how I do a whole lot of tolerating in this life. Maybe you can relate …


Speaking of tolerating things to the point of being mildly comfortable with them, I saw this note in my inbox from Ramit Sethi.

Again, see if you can relate …

If you’ve gotten good at something, this is a pivotal moment. If you’ve lost 50lbs, your friends will say, “You should be happy! Stop losing weight! You’ll get too skinny!”

If you’re running a business, people around you will say exactly the same thing. “Why are you killing yourself? That’s more than enough. You should just take a vacation!”

Guys, my fucking goal in life is not to take a vacation.** It’s to make an impact.

That’s why after a lot of thinking, I narrowed my choices down:

* Stay where I was, satisfied with the level I’d hit
* Make the decision to grow

I made the decision to keep growing. That single decision has been one of the best, most difficult decisions I’ve ever made.

So … stop tolerating AND start growing again.

Funny, I lost way more than 50 pounds at one point. And after enough stupid, pointless commentaries that “you look FINE now” — as if I didn’t before — I did give it up.

But now this life has grown as constrictive as my clothes since I started eating again.


I don’t know what to do. But it’s definitely time to do something else. Because I can’t name one thing I haven’t outgrown …

** It’s totally my goal in life to take a fucking vacation. You know. For a change.

Don’t share this with Streisand

June 15th, 2015, 8:46 AM by Goddess

Got to work before 6 a.m.

Normally I’d stay up working Sunday night. A new writer turns things in around 5 p.m. but I was able to hire a new editor who turns around the content edit at 4 a.m. So, it makes sense for me to just be up at the crack o’ me to do my own overhaul.

Anyway the morning has barely begun and while I’ve achieved a lot, I’m also exhausted and not functioning. And that means reading.

Was just catching up on last week’s JOLTS report and the Small Business Optimism survey. The latter says that finding “qualified candidates” is the third-biggest problem for small businesses right now.

No freaking kidding.

I smell a support-group idea.

Or a song — “People who need qualified people are the unhappiest people in the world …”

My best person is out this week. Wish me luck.

Oh, fuck luck. Send psychotropics.