Another day, another fix 

June 11th, 2016, 9:11 AM by Goddess

Gotta love going in for an oil change and out with a list of six other things to fix. 

My new mechanic said how the hell did your last guy let you get past 100K miles without regular scheduled maintenance?

I need to check on some of the recommended items. I’m letting him do the transmission fluid. But that’s worth more than the car itself. He gave me a good idea. Just think of each repair as a car payment and then in two months I won’t have a “car payment.”

I like the idea but won’t discount a meteor falling out of the sky first. You know, just like it rains the day you wash the jalopy. 

What I like about this place is they open early and stay late. I always arrive 20 minutes before they open. Not a car left over from the previous day. But the lot is packed by 9 am. 

Vinny has cars wrapped around the block at all times. I always appreciated that he got me right in and out as soon as he could. But what about other people who need to get around? 

It got me to thinking about people I work(ed) with. I would finish the cars to be considerate that my customers have things to do and don’t need further inconvenience. Others I could name would take two weeks off in mid-repair. 

Once I had one of those people leave early and say in their email autoresponder that they believe they are done for the day and all caught up. I would have laughed if I weren’t strapped over a barrel because of it. 

Anyway. Fuck Vinny. Welcome Dave. If I’m gonna be strapped over a money pit, I’m happier that it’s with this guy. 



Cryptic bullshit

June 9th, 2016, 9:59 PM by Goddess

What I wouldn’t give to have an opportunity of the present day, coupled with the resources of yesteryear. 

Who knew I would miss my laptop,  trading account and ability to watch CNBC so much …

Wondering if I threw away my chance to be something. And if I’ll ever get another. 



Before I secure the seatbelt in the handbasket …

June 6th, 2016, 8:17 AM by Goddess

Fought with the landlord’s new girlfriend over text all weekend. I cannot believe how much they insult me and my intelligence. Horrid, wretched people.

I was up half the night worrying about work too. The upstairs neighbor was actually quiet for a change. And I still barely slept.

But I’m focusing on the positive. A problem that was created got solved. I won’t think about the other 98 problems I have to solve/help solve.

I got to thinking about the Weight Watchers “Connect” app. I watch people brag that they ate a whole cake but they tracked it and they will be better tomorrow.

I was thinking about it because of a big problem that I didn’t create, didn’t solve and didn’t even handle. And it’s giving me an ulcer.

Someone asked about it and my mental response was “well good riddance” and I thought about those “I ate the WHOLE CAKE AND LOVED IT MMMM MMMMMMMMM” people. They make jokes where they are not appropriate.

I mean yes, eat what you want, be honest about it in your tracker and promise yourself to do better the next meal/day. Fine.

But don’t be a dick about it.

I mean yes, I have to own my fuckups (even if I don’t fully believe they were within my control). Take control. Apologize. Fix it. Ask for help in fixing it. And if you don’t get it, fix it anyway. (This is where I fell down on the job. I didn’t “fix it anyway.” Because I have no idea how.)

But where I kind of look down my British nose at the people who proudly binge-ate is that this is a lifestyle, eating right. You know what I want to do when I eat cake? EAT MORE CAKE. So I cannot eat cake. It’s that simple.

I can’t snack anymore either. I don’t buy them. Because I will Hoover them in. I can’t open a bag of chips — even sea salt kale or quinoa chips — without DEMOLISHING them. So, no chips in Goddess’ world unless I know I will destroy the bag and will have to give up something else that’s delicious because of it.

Anyway, only I could try to relate food to work. But yeah. I binge on work too. Maybe not on all the right things. I know I give way more attention to certain things (like 10 Cherry Tomatoes Short of a Salad) and not to OMG This Thing is On Fire (sung in the tune of Alicia Keys). And the trade-off is my health. Ergo, wine for dinner and health problems galore.

In any event. The handbasket awaits. And of course there’s no gas in it because this is me we’re talking about!



Final whine of the day. I promise

June 3rd, 2016, 4:49 PM by Goddess

The good news is, I will get a refund on my Key West trip. In 10 days.

The bad news, I bought it on a super-special deal that I will never, ever see again. Ever.

Sorry, Mom. Fucked up your birthday.

What I wouldn’t give to do the itinerary I had planned …

I got to thinking about the fool I would never in my right mind hire. Because, I already have Soccer Ball to the Skull 1, 2 and 3. I don’t need a whole damn army.

But I wonder if they could have found their ass with both hands long enough to cover me for the one day we wouldn’t have had any coverage.

Dipwad proclaimed to someone else that they are waiting for me to hire them for my “open position.” It honestly worries me the level of delusion one can possibly possess.

It also makes me wonder that their references have no interest in calling me back.

If there is one thing I have tried to do at every company, it’s to think of the future. And I can’t in MY right mind “will” the company (so to speak) to someone who either lies or can’t follow a simple conversation to its natural conclusion.

No participation trophies today. Even if we’re getting back to the point where bad help might be better than none at all …



Devolving

May 21st, 2016, 9:31 AM by Goddess

When I interview people, I look for basic courtesies. The ability to tell a good story. The feeling that this person has the capability of having my back and not plunging a knife through it. The hope that tough situations will be made more bearable by their presence and assistance.

The last few times I hired, that’s what I hired. I think it worked out for the best, for the most part. One ended up having zero talent beyond being a nice person. Another had mad talent but fell off the grid and proved to be a bit on the unreliable side. And the third is still with me, keeping me sane for the most part.

I had the chance to interview someone recently. I absolutely wanted nothing to do with this person going into it. No manners. No grace. No access to a shower that morning, apparently. Just, all-around bleah.

The interview was OK. Showered, check. I didn’t see effort as far as dress or other preparation. And someone needs to put a shock collar on that one to notify them when they say something that makes me go, “Did they just say that?” And I’m not even a formal type of person. Because, let’s count the stupid things I say in a day. Hmmm. …

Anyway, I got to wondering whether I would do better managing someone who has no redeeming social qualities. 

I mean, the people who are nice and reasonable AND talented are the best. But I don’t know about the people I’ve been encountering lately. You either get smarts or experience or talent or grace or personality. You don’t get them all.

I think this one could eventually learn to be anything other than a social Asperger’s case. I did not hold back in telling them (nicely) what they were doing that would piss off any reasonable interviewer type. 

This one has a level of delusion about reality in general and their own abilities in particular that concerned even me.

On the other hand, I wonder if the secret to really being an effective mentor is to not particularly care for the person. 

Like, you can care about them but not for them. 

I shared my wisdom as articulately as I could. I really didn’t care as much how it was received. Whereas with others, I said what had to be said but I was also concerned that their sensitivity would mean they didn’t take it for what it was worth (and use it).
I look at a friend who was let go recently. He was kind of everyone’s buddy rather than their boss. So they brought in someone who is more boss-like and less “someone who does the same kind of work and understands the type of people who are doing that work.”

Of course, I also see the wrong people sucking up to the new person and making things difficult for the rest of the team that actually is valuable.

I don’t know. I want to believe in being stronger together. But you really are an island in the end. And I want dragons in my moat from now on so people don’t get too close and, ultimately, drag me down with them.

There’s always the hope you can bring them up to your level. I will always have that hope. And that’s what made me invest SO MUCH in so many. But in the end, the cheese stands alone — at least at review time. And harmony does not necessarily equal profitability. And the hole in the cheese’s heart grows a little bigger because of it.

I don’t know if Stinky Cheese will become part of the charcuterie platter. But I do have a feeling that if anybody can beat them into submission, or at least destroy their dreams and/or delusions, it’ll be me.