Day 63 of my captivity

July 2nd, 2017, 12:38 PM by Goddess

If anyone isn’t getting the reference, it’s how the Internet imagines cats counting their days of being with their hoomins. I’m not actually captive unless you’re looking at it through the Stockholm syndrome lens. 

In any event, today I drove my happy ass up to my captor. (It’s Sunday.)  The building is locked. No security badge can help you today. I went to every door. Nothing. Damn it. 

Heck. I made it two months without having to work a weekend. I still win. Got my momma some cake from our favorite Italian market and a burger from her favorite place. 

Only took three hours round-trip, and now I’m working at home like I should have done in the first damn place. 

But yeah. Someone should have great fun reviewing the security footage with all my choice words shouted at the building. 

I was at my favorite office yesterday to pick up the mail. They have paid for it to stand empty for three months now. And all one needs is a key to get in and out. If only there were still internet, a PC and a desk there for me, I wouldn’t be measuring my days. 

Summoning the demon with the IMs of Doom

July 1st, 2017, 7:23 AM by Goddess

I call them the IMs of Doom. The ones that prompt an in-person phone call or meeting.

Why these people insist on using IM to CIRCUMVENT the technology remains beyond me.

I especially abhor the ones that fetch me. Like a friggin’ puppy summoned for the anti-treat. You, peasant, get on your busted foot and come for your lashing.

I guess it beats the “Can I call ya?” Ya doesn’t like the phone, either. Excuse me while I go hobble to the coffee pot and pretend I didn’t see it.

Probably everyone knows when I’m asked if I have a moment to chat. I don’t even muffle the reflexive “Jesus Christ!” anymore. Maybe I never did. Ask me whatever you want to ask me and save me the trip, please.

In any event, I got one late yesterday and had my quick mental meltdown. Stomped my way to wherever I needed to be … and actually had a pleasant time.


Maybe there’s hope yet for this unnecessary experiment after all.

Day 59 of my captivity

June 28th, 2017, 1:31 PM by Goddess

“Try a thing you haven’t done three times. Once, to get over the fear of doing it. Twice, to learn how to do it. And a third time to figure out whether you like it or not.”

— Virgil Thomson, American composer and critic

Pretty sure I know how I feel going into Day 60. But hey, a virgin gave birth and a Keebler elf left his oak tree and his cookie-baking-over-fiery-crosses business to become attorney general of Russia. So, anything can happen.

Who says AI isn’t here already?

June 27th, 2017, 3:25 PM by Goddess

Changed my password yesterday to “ILoveMyJob.” 

Just typed it in and the system says “What you entered is incorrect.” 

Its burn game is on fleek today.

Eye-pooping results 

June 26th, 2017, 1:27 PM by Goddess

Man. Between hearing someone pass off my idea as their own in a meeting … and it got approval coming from their mouth … and getting an edited doc with that mistake made in it … and more, I really don’t know what else to say about today.