Goodbye, cruel (business) world?

June 11th, 2015, 10:09 PM by Goddess

I found myself worried about the future of business today.

I was thinking about two millennials I know. One is brilliant and one is … not.

The brilliant one works for himself, more or less. And the other is somehow maybe going to learn how to run a business if A) he can retain any of it and B) he could keep a job for any other reason than an employer being worried he’ll sue.

Now, I worked for myself for a while. I was OK at it. But I hated it. I wanted to be part of a bigger cause. I also wanted someone else to worry about keeping the lights on.

One thing over the past 20 years I’ve had a love-hate relationship with is being a supervisor. Of the last eight people I helped to bring on board at various places, seven have been amazing.

But I let eight destroy my well-being. Enough to make me want to give it all up and return to freelancing so I never have to supervise a soul again.

I think that’s what most of my friends have done. They work alone. The collaborate only at gunpoint or, at least, when they’re lonely.

But that’s the the thing. They aren’t forced to show people how to wipe and feed themselves. They call their peers. People they respect. People who make them smarter.

They don’t have to work with those who refuse to learn. Who just want to collect a paycheck and be left alone. Who think that just because they showed up at the race (probably late), they deserve a corner office and a parade.

I was taught that you had to grow the next generation. But for most of us, making sure people wiped their poopy butts takes more time than doing something real or creative that makes the company money … and puts us in line for a promotion or bonus or both.

This is why I worry about business. I think those of us with aptitude and good experience and a lot of creativity and heart and good ideas will wake up one day and go NOPE.

In other words, nope — it’s time to do this on my terms. And my terms don’t involve carrying dead weight.

I think there’s a lot to be said about the freelance economy. Multiple income streams are a glorious thing. I sweat having only one paycheck.

Of course I worked with some real assclowns and tap-danced for paychecks that way, too.

But that’s the thing, too. People who have no business running businesses are … well … running businesses. How the hell do you learn from people who couldn’t find both ass cheeks with Siri and a flashlight?

So, yeah. Business. I haven’t had the opportunity to work with a Jack Welch or Elon Musk or Richard Branson. And most people won’t. But people like Eight wouldn’t appreciate greatness if they fell over it, either.

And if it’s the “me”s of the world that have to simultaneously learn and teach, we’re all doomed. I think I’ve done an OK job of learning … and I think I’ve helped to produce enough success stories to justify my existence.

But let me tell you. If my financial plan — i.e., marrying a rich husband — works out the way I want it to, goodbye cruel business world.

When Mr. Prince Charming with the big bank account comes along, I’m going freelance.

And I’m only talking to my esteemed colleagues and friends. Moreover, I am not going to go near anyone I don’t respect or who has no plans on respecting me.

Perhaps then I can be the next great business leader. I just worry that it might be the only way.

Management, Goddess-style

June 9th, 2015, 11:27 AM by Goddess

If I wanted to retain great employees, I’d book their calendar with trainings and trips for as long as the eye could see.

You know, in case anybody wanted to do that for me. :)

As for others, I’d be likelier to book them a one-way ticket to anywhere.

And I might or might not have a few ideas on that, too.

Because cake heals all

June 3rd, 2015, 7:28 PM by Goddess

First, best birthday cake ever. Big props to my awesome boss for going to 22 bakeries till he not only got me a white cake …. But an amazing white cake. Omg so good. 
It was a pleasant distraction from being continually amazed at how dumb and combative someone can be. 

Also it was nice to be all sweetened up before learning I’m now entangled in a legal matter to somehow testify in favor of laughable, moronic, idiotic and comical bulkshit. 

We’ve wasted our top minds in the company for a month on this. Not like I could leave the other duties in anyone’s hands so I’ve had both roles, of problem-solver and apparently problem-creator since I can’t do it all and I can’t do it all right. 

My top alibi is burned out over getting blamed for some things that went wrong. I’m sick that my reactions, while in the best interest of the customers, may harm the business. My best sidekick is going to rip the eyelashes out of the world’s least useful because they had one set of easy tasks to do while we did the real stuff and they fucked it all up. 

If not for cake, this day would be better on fire. But cake is awesome. And somehow it is enough to come back and try again tomorrow. 

I’m just not sure what’s going to save the day after the cake is gone. 

It’s getting harder to keep the body count below 1

June 3rd, 2015, 10:43 AM by Goddess

New rule.

Either learn something if it kills you.

Or else I get to kill you.

Sunshine on a cloudy, rainy-season-in-Florida day

June 3rd, 2015, 7:45 AM by Goddess

In case you haven’t noticed my recent “I’m going to be positive if it kills me” theme, here’s another.

I used to have this pre-market project. I’ve always had pre-market projects, no matter where I’ve gone. You generally make the junior person on the team do them. I mean, that’s how I got my first one.

But alas, when you want it right AND you want it Wednesday (and Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday), you just add it to your list.

Besides, when it comes to who you can count on, ding! ding! ding! I’m your girl.

Anyway that project went away (and a temporary Sunday one popped up in its place. Which, I pick weekdays any day) and I’ve still been on the early shift. Just because.

But with the neighbors going nuts all night, and then the one night of them being quiet I was awake in FEAR of when they would start, I’ve been coming in about 20 minutes later than usual.

And it’s been glorious.

Glorious, I tell you.

So, there. Something else positive from me.

Any more miracles and all I’ll have to do is die to achieve my sainthood.