Putting this here for safekeeping. Also, reasons.

September 9th, 2014, 9:14 PM by Goddess

Just getting home now is a good enough reason. I’m like a bad trade order — first in, last out.

MoodPoisoning



Riddle me this

September 5th, 2014, 1:19 PM by Goddess

You know, if everyone else can throw tantrums and threaten to go on strike and it all becomes my problem, then why can’t I return the favor?

I quit … until I get back from Starbucks, anyway.



Body count < 1. For now.

September 5th, 2014, 9:06 AM by Goddess

This is one of those days I hate being considered a manager of anything.

If you’re making my life difficult, you’re taking away activities I should be participating in that help bring in money or keep it in the bank.

And you’re just delaying me from my next task. And keeping me at my desk later. And frankly just making me cranky and angry and resentful overall and therefore NOT PRODUCTIVE ENOUGH.

I have HR chasing me to do a review for a new employee (this is not the situation making me nuts). I completely FAIL to understand why it is not a one-question survey, and that is “Did Employee keep the body count below 1?” If yes, good review. Let’s do it again soon.

At least, that should be what MY review looks like …



All I have to say is this, redux

September 4th, 2014, 2:28 PM by Goddess

It blows my mind to have to keep hiring people to do the job I want to do because I’m so busy doing everything else.

I don’t think I’m any good at any of the others. And as far as I can tell, most if not all would agree with that statement.



‘I’d have a lot to give, if I still gave a damn’

August 5th, 2014, 9:03 PM by Goddess

9:43 p.m. Just finished the last work project. And remembered that I FORGOT MY CAR at the mechanic. The guy who never locks the car even though I ask.

Perhaps folks will steal my work possessions from the trunk. And maybe they can go there for two weeks so Goddess can have a proper vacation.

Or at least a vacation from our technology, anyway. Just as well.

OMG I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE our systems. HATE.

The day started off OK enough. I have been asking my buddy for a fix for like ever. It’s so small and stupid but it requires programming skillz on my part to patch up when I use this particular thing about five times a week.

And today I thought well, it’s been a few days since I tried it. Let me try it.

AND THE ANGELS SANG. It was fixed!

So that was all well and good till I wrote a newsletter today. And then went to broadcast it in another system. And even though I watched WITH MY OWN EYES the fulfillment team upload my test and live and seed lists, the system said, O HAI NO TEST LIST — GO AWAI NAO.

So I was about to call my other friend at home when I thought, let me check something out in the document first.

O HAI evil system ATE MY DOCUMENT. ATE IT. ATE THE FUCKING LAYOUT GOD DAMN YOU.

I happened to be chatting with the friend for whom the angels were singing. The guy who can un-fuck-up any fuck-up. And even he’s like, um, the network says you never created the document.

GODDAMN IT I CREATED THE FUCKING DOCUMENT. Here’s a screenshot.

Screenshot.

HAH.

The problem with this GODDAMNED DOCUMENT is a table of information that must be compiled at 4:15 p.m. Otherwise, doom.

So here it is 7:28 p.m. and THANK YOU BABY JESUS I had a visual copy of the table and all the headlines I had written and promptly forgotten.

I decided first reader who has a complaint gets eviscerated.

Finished my next project at 9:36 p.m. Checked e-mail. One reader wrote twice to verify a MOTHERFUCKING TYPO.

He said please call. I ain’t callin’ you for no goddamned typo. I wrote to say GREAT CATCH, YOU DA MAN MOTHAFUCKA. *pat pat pat*

EVISCERATE, YO.

I just heard the lyric blasting out of the living room, “I’d have a lot to give, if I still gave a damn …”

Which, irony. Also, Zac Brown. Which means his duet with Richie Sambora must be about to start …

On to cleaning the house next! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.