Mornings
You know it’ll be a good day when you remembered to take the shower toys out of the shower before you sprayed Tilex. 
Yesterday morning wasn’t so fortunate. Don’t worry — no toys were harmed during the recording of this message — but I awakened with a mouthful of vomit. Why? Because apparently the cats thought it would be cute to SHIT in EVERY ROOM.
I fed them “Good” food the night before — usually they get the cheap, dry Cat Chow crap. Which they will be getting from now until the end of time, thanks to the Sunday Night Shitfest. I mean, it was bloody shit, too — like they popped a blood vessel, trying to push out all that wet, stinky goodness.
Seriously, next time I open up the balcony and let the cats play outside, I am shutting the door behind them.
BUT WAIT, THERE’S MORE
The bitches? SHIT IN MY WHITE SHIRT that I was planning to wear today. ARGH! I found some vomit in a couple of my socks, too. There went a laundry basket full of clean whites. Kill. …
On iTunes: Rick Springfield, “Jessie’s Girl”
May 3rd, 2005 at
WHY do your cats poop everywhere so much? mine always use their box. What’s up with that?
May 3rd, 2005 at
Dude, it ain’t nice to torment me like that. Maddie might have to come over and poop and wipe her ass on your wall, just so you don’t feel left out.