Mailbag
Y’all might know that my hypothesis on Lexus vehicles is that they don’t come standard with turn signals. My other hypothesis is that people become braindead when they purchase said vehicle, because I have yet to witness the phenomenon of a Lexus owner driving safely.
To that, our beloved Amy gave me the key to unlock the hell on wheels: It’s a violation of privacy!
Dear Goddess,
I do believe the Lexus vehicle has a certain appeal with Southern folk. Now, you’ve lived here amongst us Southern folk for awhile, so you are no doubt are aware of Southern eccentricities. You see, in the South, we don’t hide our crazy people — we put them out on display. And that is for a very pertinent reason: We want the REALLY crazy people to stand out because it sort of makes up for how batshit the rest of us are.
Now, in the greater D.C. area, there are enough transplants from other parts of the country to sort of dilute the “Southerness” of this region. But, for those of us who have lived in more potent parts of the South, the whole turn signal thing doesn’t come as a surprise. You see, Southerners tend not to use their turn signals because, “It’s none of your damn business where I’m a-goin’.”
Love,
The (Southern) Snarling Marmot
I will have a whole new attitude toward my commute after this. Thanks, Amy! 
On iTunes: Jodi Sheeler, “Boston”
